{1}{1}23.976
{718}{881}{Y:b}The Pink Panther 2 - 2009 English
{955}{984}I now bring to your attention
{986}{1096}one of the most stunning treasures|in the British Library's entire collection.
{1098}{1138}The Magna Carta.
{1435}{1465}And now, over here,
{1483}{1594}perhaps the most cherished|ancient artefact in the Western world.
{1612}{1655}The Shroud of Turin.
{2113}{2142}The Imperial Sword!
{2446}{2519}Chief Inspector Dreyfus is here to see you.
{2521}{2566}- Chief Inspector.|- Sir.
{2584}{2638}I'm sure you know why you're here.
{2639}{2722}The British, the Italians and the Japanese|are assembling an elite squad
{2724}{2774}of their finest detectives,
{2776}{2897}an international Dream Team|to track down this Tornado.
{2899}{2982}- And France will be represented?|- Exactly.
{3000}{3077}I am honoured, but not surprised.
{3079}{3155}This is the culmination of my career.
{3185}{3242}The moment|that I've been waiting for all my life.
{3243}{3297}- No, no, no.|- Well, not all my life, perhaps...
{3299}{3343}- No, no.|- No. Nevertheless...
{3345}{3445}They want Clouseau, since he is|considered the top detective in the world.
{3447}{3551}We have been asked if Clouseau|is available to lead the Dream Team.
{3553}{3612}- Clouseau?|- Yes, yes.
{3739}{3817}- Is there something wrong?|- No, no, not at all.
{3819}{3890}Would you mind if I use your bathroom|just for a moment?
{3892}{3937}- Certainly.|- Thank you.
{4058}{4090}Clouseau.
{4499}{4579}I'm afraid, sir,|that Clouseau is currently occupied.
{4580}{4619}- What?|- I've assigned him to a mission
{4621}{4650}so important for our country
{4652}{4756}that I fear for our national security|if he was taken off it.
{5186}{5229}Clearly a violation.
{5271}{5308}Parking ticket.
{5337}{5369}What is this for?
{5371}{5477}Thirty-one centimetres from the curb,|nine centimetres too far.
{5502}{5622}Nine centimetres into|the seamy black underbelly of crime.
{5970}{6044}- You must take the ticket. Take it.|- Never!
{6060}{6108}You must take the ticket.
{6322}{6385}You're not wearing your seatbelt.
{6387}{6458}You are going to have to go|to traffic school.
{6648}{6682}Pardon me.
{6727}{6799}- Stop this car immediately.|- Okay.
{11523}{11563}Right.
{11565}{11626}- Are you finished yet?|- Complete and operational.
{11627}{11711}Chief Inspector,|your new system will monitor and record
{11713}{11773}every word and every movement|in this room.
{11775}{11824}So, if anyone breaks in, what happens?
{11826}{11937}Your office is linked to the elite|Black Berets. They will be here in seconds.
{11939}{12009}Sir, Inspector Clouseau is here to see you.
{12047}{12073}Send him in.
{12075}{12155}- Clouseau?|- I have to appoint him to the Dream Team.
{12157}{12226}- Clouseau?|- Don't ask, don't...
{12227}{12313}Good afternoon, Chief Inspector.|I'm here with my report.
{12344}{12379}This darn Medal of Honour.
{12380}{12443}You're so fortunate|you never got one, Chief Inspector.
{12445}{12565}You look so tidy having no honours|or other forms of distinguishing décor.
{12567}{12656}Why don't you wear it under your shirt,|you know, out of sight?
{12658}{12754}Brilliant idea, Chief Inspector.|That way it won't clang around.
{12767}{12830}Now, the parking ticket situation.
{12832}{12926}Over the last six weeks,|I've given out almost four parking tickets.
{12927}{12975}One at the musée, overtime.
{12977}{13102}And one, you'll recall, to you,|in violation of the bent-license-plate law.
{13103}{13165}- Yes, I recall.|- It's all there in the report.
{13167}{13235}Fascinating.|Well, I shall waste no time in reading it.
{13237}{13344}And just in case, I've deftly catalogued,|numbered and cross-referenced
{13346}{13414}each offence here in my little black book.
{13415}{13550}Now, Clouseau, you remember when I first|put you on that parking ticket detail...
{13552}{13623}Yes, you explained|it was a top level assignment.
{13624}{13736}And that if anyone ever asked you|if I was the one who had assigned you
{13738}{13826}to this incredibly important mission,|you would deny it.
{13828}{13962}Chief Inspector, I don't even know|what you are talking about.
{13991}{14027}Good work, Clouseau.
{14028}{14174}Now, to business.|I have been instructed to reassign you...
{14245}{14276}Clouseau?
{14356}{14388}Clouseau.
{14707}{14753}We were being recorded.
{14852}{14945}- The Black Berets.|- The password. What is the password?
{14947}{15001}- I don't know.|- Four, three...
{15003}{15061}- We weren't yet told.|- Two, one.
{15083}{15127}Hamburger.
{15129}{15185}Thank you, sir. Have a nice day.
{15300}{15380}- The password was "hamburger"?|- No, "hamburger."
{15382}{15464}- I said "hamburger".|- No, you said "hamburger."
{15466}{15514}- Hamburger?|- Hamburger.
{15542}{15608}How did you know|that we were being recorded?
{15610}{15650}Easy, Inspector.
{15651}{15749}This pen emits a small beeping noise|whenever it detects microwaves.
{15751}{15813}- RadioShack. $12.|- What?
{15815}{15938}- How did you know the password?|- This little LED chip decodes passwords.
{15940}{16023}I had it attached to the back|of my Medal of Honour.
{16025}{16121}- RadioShack?|- EBay. I got this there, too.
{16178}{16249}- What do you think this is?|- A tape recorder?
{16269}{16384}No. It only looks like a tape-recorder.|It's actually a pen.
{16469}{16529}So you can write with it|and no one will know.
{16531}{16566}Bingo!
{16568}{16651}Now, you were saying, Inspector.
{16667}{16741}- You are being reassigned.|- Let me read your mind.
{16743}{16826}The Tornado is at large, and you want me|to protect the Pink Panther.
{16827}{16853}- No.|- No?
{16855}{16905}It is my job to protect the Pink Panther.
{16907}{16982}You've merely been reassigned|to the Dream Team.
{17034}{17077}That is quite an honour,
{17079}{17139}- but I cannot accept.|- What?
{17141}{17187}If Inspector Clouseau|were to leave France,
{17188}{17243}the Tornado would surely strike|at the Pink Panther.
{17244}{17294}- I'm guarding it!|- But...
{17295}{17359}Don't argue.|You fly to Kyoto in the morning.
{17361}{17399}But I can't fly.
{17423}{17475}In a plane!
{17477}{17530}- But still...|- That's an order.
{17718}{17746}Nicole.
{17866}{17905}You are travelling?
{17907}{18015}Yes, Inspector Dreyfus is sending me|on a very dangerous mission.
{18017}{18119}- For how long? When will you return?|- I will return when the criminal is caught.
{18121}{18216}It could be a month, it could be a year.|You understand, Nicole.
{18227}{18322}- Yes, yes, of course.|- Of course, we will have to stay apart.
{18323}{18426}If the criminal were to, say, kidnap you,|he would have power over me.
{18447}{18505}Why would he have power over you?
{18541}{18660}Well, because, well,
{18692}{18745}you are like a brother to me.
{18802}{18867}A hot, sexy brother in a dress.
{18907}{19019}Nicole, I hope you have forgiven me|for that one evening.
{19021}{19082}Yes, Inspector, it is forgotten.
{19083}{19150}- I have not forgotten.|- Neither have I.
{19317}{19421}So, even though, technically,|we are on duty,
{19423}{19515}do you think it would be all right|to share a bottle of wine?
{19516}{19566}I think it would be all right.
{19568}{19654}Then I will select the wine.|It is one of my specialities.
{19755}{19823}I would like to select my own wine.
{19824}{19907}And by the way,|I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
{19909}{19952}Remember this face.
{21404}{21485}- This is a very special bottle.|- Delicious.
{21788}{21847}There was something about|burning down a restaurant
{21848}{21941}that ignited other, more illicit, fires.
{22030}{22150}- And I'm sorry about that.|- As am I. Terribly remorseful.
{22151}{22235}It was a night to remember|that we must forget.
{22237}{22290}We must never forget to not remember it.
{22292}{22378}And if we do remember it,|we must immediately forget it.
{22403}{22479}Now, let's have|a professional hug goodbye.
{22615}{22702}I'll be right there.|I'll see you in several months.
{22704}{22806}- No problem.|- And I do hope your hearing improves.
{22980}{23058}Ponton,|I'm worried about my leaving France.
{23060}{23147}The Tornado is rampant.|The Pink Panther is such a temptation,
{23149}{23206}and no Clouseau to protect it.
{23207}{23298}But you visited the museum yourself,|you checked the security.
{23299}{23385}- It's gonna be all right.|- Yes, I suppose you're right.
{23405}{23494}- Are you driving?|- I like to stay in practice.
{23679}{23732}- Okay.|- Remind me where the brakes are.
{23734}{23772}- Here. Yes.|- There?
{23774}{23818}- Yes.|- And then you turn here.
{23819}{23847}- Of course, yes.|- All right.
{23847}{23873}- And this turns it.|- Yeah.
{23875}{23914}Okay, here we go.
{24032}{24066}- Ponton.|- Yes?
{24067}{24162}- This case is very strange.|- How so, Inspector?
{24164}{24224}For 10 years,|the Tornado terrorized Europe,
{24226}{24310}stealing over a quarter of a billion|dollars worth of artefacts.
{24311}{24376}Then, for no reason, he suddenly stops.
{24395}{24454}Maybe the Tornado thought|he had enough money.
{24455}{24570}If he had enough money, then why,|after 10 years of complete inactivity,
{24571}{24631}does he suddenly spring back into action?
{24632}{24713}London, the Magna Carta.|Italy, the sacred Shroud.
{24759}{24885}The Imperial Sword. Why now?|Why all of a sudden? Why? Why?
{25079}{25125}You need to calm down.
{25391}{25418}Hey!
{25583}{25680}What's the matter, Ponton?|You seem a little depressed today.
{25703}{25766}- Is it your wife again?|- Yes.
{25786}{25856}She still feels my job|takes up too much of my time.
{25875}{25921}The same old thing.
{25923}{26036}Next week is our 10th anniversary.|She thinks we should go away together.
{26038}{26105}Ponton, would you like me|to talk with her?
{26107}{26132}No.
{26157}{26238}I mean, this issue must be discussed|between husband and wife.
{26239}{26337}Well, you must explain to her|that we are men of the law.
{26339}{26391}Always living in the shadows.
{26476}{26506}Idiot.
{26553}{26603}I will miss you, Inspector.
{26630}{26683}I will miss you, too, Ponton.
{26706}{26750}- And, Ponton.|- Yes?
{26751}{26816}I am sorry you can't satisfy your wife.
{26921}{26973}"I am now leaving France."
{26991}{27034}This is a bad idea.
{27137}{27222}The legendary Pink Panther Diamond|has been stolen.
{27223}{27291}Officials suspect the perpetrator|is the infamous Tornado.
{27293}{27334}What'd I tell you?
{27340}{27444}The theft of the Pink Panther would be|the fourth high-profile crime...
{27463}{27534}Oh, my God! He was right.
{27574}{27682}The Dream Team was supposed to start|its investigations in Kyoto, Japan,
{27684}{27748}but it's just been diverted to Paris.
{27750}{27775}France is in shock.
{27777}{27863}The international Dream Team|of detectives will begin...
{27893}{28005}I'm standing outside the Grand Palais|where the Pink Panther has been stolen.
{28170}{28239}Why are they cheering?|This is a national tragedy.
{28241}{28330}We live in a media age.|You must learn to adapt.
{28331}{28375}Then adapt I shall.
{28604}{28698}- Who do you think did this, Inspector?|- Inspector, any comment?
{28737}{28798}Tornado, I'm coming to get you.
{28820}{28851}One more.
{28879}{28974}Tornado, I'm coming to get you.|There's your one.
{29053}{29151}Good afternoon, Inspector.|The other detectives have already arrived.
{29153}{29202}They are waiting for you.
{29224}{29296}- I'm sorry, I don't remember your name.|- What?
{29370}{29536}- Yes. I am Nicole.|- Yes, so nice to see you again.
{29538}{29580}You, too, Inspector.
{29610}{29698}Well, enough of this foreplay.|Where are the other detectives?
{29700}{29752}Yes, they're waiting inside.
{29787}{29837}I hope no one has|tampered with the crime scene.
{29839}{29876}A crime scene is like a code.
{29878}{29951}You decipher it, and it will|lead inexorably to the criminal.
{29953}{30038}That is why it must always be kept|in pristine condition.
{30306}{30405}Good day. I'm Inspector Jacques Clouseau|of the French Police.
{30414}{30502}Vicenzo Roccara|Squarcialupi Brancaleone.
{30504}{30540}And your name?
{30585}{30652}Vicenzo Roccara|Squarcialupi Brancaleone.
{30654}{30758}That is your name. I thought you were|ordering in Italian. Once again.
{30819}{30922}Vicenzo Roccara|Squarcialupi Brancaleone.
{30978}{31018}Don Corleone.
{31040}{31068}I'm Kenji Mazuto.
{31070}{31111}Kenji Mazel Tov.
{31113}{31155}Randall Pepperidge.
{31189}{31281}And this is my associate Gilbert Ponton,|and this is Nicole.
{31283}{31326}Nicole is here to service your needs,
{31327}{31398}so feel free to use her|in any way you wish.
{31459}{31524}And now there is a crime scene waiting.
{31581}{31654}Excuse me. "El sceno de crimo."
{31707}{31844}- That is not Italian, and I do speak English.|- Really? Prove it.
{31857}{31957}Gentlemen, we first have to determine|how the crime was committed.
{31959}{32027}And as I am an expert at deduction...
{32029}{32098}- You are an expert at deduction?|- That is my field.
{32099}{32228}I believe deduction is my field|and since you are experiencing hip pain...
{32230}{32263}How did you know that?
{32264}{32326}One side of the sole of your shoe|is worn more than the other.
{32328}{32384}You're favouring your right leg.
{32386}{32481}Tell me, did you enjoy|your double espresso this morning?
{32483}{32542}- How did you...|- Your pupils are noticeably dilated.
{32544}{32615}And will you be moving out|of the Hotel Montmartre?
{32617}{32672}They are doing construction at night|around the Montmartre
{32674}{32730}so as not to disturb daytime traffic.
{32731}{32822}From your puffy eyes,|I deduce you spent a sleepless night.
{32839}{32922}Speaking of traffic,|are you enjoying your Smart car?
{32943}{32989}Your trousers are wrinkled|behind the knees.
{32991}{33087}And how do you think your favourite|football team, Arsenal, will do this year?
{33089}{33145}That matchbox is from|the only bar in Paris
{33147}{33193}that shows English football telecasts.
{33195}{33246}You have tissues in your shoes|to make you look taller.
{33247}{33322}You were 14 before you finally|learned to enjoy avocado.
{33324}{33416}Tell me, how did you enjoy|your trip to the airport this morning?
{33418}{33481}Now, how did you know that?
{33494}{33573}- Perhaps one of you should begin.|- Yes, this is silly.
{33575}{33608}You've recently lost|your favourite cheese grater.
{33608}{33651}You have an aversion to cow bells.
{33653}{33714}Stop the insanity and look at this.
{33744}{33818}IL Tornado is not as careful as he thinks.
{33920}{34032}Fingerprint. With this small piece of|glass, the case is practically solved.
{34079}{34130}This one has a fingerprint.
{34181}{34238}This one has a fingerprint, too.
{34239}{34285}This one has a fingerprint.
{34287}{34379}You don't need that.|You have plenty of fingerprint evidence.
{34458}{34491}Guard that.
{34548}{34619}What do we know about this man,|this Tornado.
{34647}{34730}Well, we know that he's a white male|between 50 and 65,
{34732}{34806}with a scar from a bullet hole|behind his right shoulder.
{34807}{34927}In 1996, the Tornado was shot right here in|France while trying to steal a gold vase.
{34929}{35047}Blood was found, and as a result,|his DNA has been on file for over 10 years
{35064}{35102}without a match.
{35179}{35258}I'm sorry I'm a bit late.|My flight was delayed.
{35259}{35317}You're Jacques Clouseau.
{35395}{35487}The Pink Panther detective.|This is such a thrill.
{35513}{35590}- And who is it that are you?|- I'm Sonia Solandres.
{35603}{35701}- Didn't anyone tell you that...|- Yes. I was informed.
{35703}{35773}- A last-minute addition to our team.|- That's right.
{35775}{35833}I've written a book|on the old Tornado crimes,
{35835}{35904}but I'm not sure|if I'm really gonna be much help here.
{35906}{35985}Technically speaking,|I'm not really a detective.
{35987}{36056}Welcome.|We can always use an extra mind.
{36058}{36131}Now, let me bring you up to speed.|We know nothing.
{36133}{36167}You are now up to speed.
{36322}{36361}In world news today,
{36363}{36471}members of the Dream Team gathered for|the first time in front of the Grand Palais
{36473}{36555}to start their investigations|into the Tornado thefts.
{36556}{36627}Inspector Clouseau had this to say.
{36629}{36729}Tornado, I'm coming to get you.|There's your one.
{36815}{36883}I was able to discover this Tornado|hacked the security system
{36884}{36990}from a remote location and turned off|all the alarms and surveillance scanners.
{36991}{37075}- Can you trace the source?|- Yes, but it will take time.
{37132}{37227}- You are new here?|- Yes, hello. Mrs. Berenger.
{37228}{37292}- I know who you are, Inspector.|- Do you?
{37294}{37363}Due to the media frenzy|surrounding this case,
{37364}{37477}I've been assigned to instruct employees|on political and social correctness.
{37490}{37558}It's always nice|to have a very sexy woman
{37559}{37628}clomping around the building|in high heels.
{37707}{37834}- You must never refer to a woman as sexy.|- But I was complimenting you.
{37835}{37930}No, Inspector, you must not comment|on a woman's body.
{37955}{38056}- I get it. I get it. I keep it to myself...|- Yes.
{38058}{38166}- When I am thinking...|- Inspector.
{38218}{38296}This will be an exercise|and I want you to concentrate.
{38298}{38406}And no matter what I say,|I want your expression to remain neutral.
{38408}{38450}That will be easy.
{38462}{38513}You're here in the corridor|at your employment,
{38515}{38588}and you see a very pretty young woman|walking toward you,
{38590}{38685}and her blouse is tight|and is rather bursting at the buttons,
{38687}{38722}and she drops her pencil,
{38724}{38805}and as she bends to retrieve it,|her blouse parts,
{38807}{38896}revealing the cleavage|of her soft, round, white mounds.
{38898}{38976}And then the pencil rolls around|and she bends again,
{38978}{39061}and her undulating buttocks|cause the short skirt to rise
{39063}{39132}just shy of the nooks and crannies.
{39235}{39354}I like you, Mrs. Berenger.|I like you a lot.
{39367}{39446}So, I have made lunch reservations|at four different restaurants,
{39447}{39520}depending on who wants to eat where.
{39522}{39642}You know,|I cannot decide what is more beautiful.
{39660}{39714}Paris or you.
{39903}{39963}May I have a word in private?
{40015}{40167}I'm worried that your hot Italian blood|might be leading you into an indiscretion.
{40178}{40202}Really?
{40204}{40318}Yes, these attentions|you're paying to Nicole.
{40319}{40346}What?
{40407}{40464}I see. You and she, you like the...
{40466}{40547}Oh, no, no, no.|She and I are co-workers, nothing more.
{40549}{40584}So I'm not stepping on toes.
{40586}{40662}How could you, since she and I have|absolutely no feelings for one another.
{40663}{40755}Good, because I find her very alluring.
{40756}{40887}No. No. For a man like you, she's too drab.
{40901}{41010}- Drab?|- And she is disgusting.
{41012}{41078}- Disgusting?|- Yeah, she's drab and disgusting.
{41080}{41118}I think you are wrong, Clouseau.
{41120}{41199}You see, you and I,|we are men of the world, no?
{41201}{41280}We've had all these|sexy and glamorous women, right?
{41311}{41398}Yes, in fact, I believe|you've made a conquest of your own
{41431}{41472}in Miss Solandres.
{41611}{41659}Clouseau, you are a lover.
{41680}{41793}And Nicole is a woman for a lifetime,|a woman to have the babies with.
{41795}{41877}- To have the babies?|- Yes, lots and lots of the babies.
{41907}{41957}All day long the babies.
{42005}{42054}All day long the babies?
{42086}{42116}Ponton.
{42154}{42224}That Italian and I have locked antlers.
{42226}{42309}We are like two angry stags|pawing at the ground.
{42311}{42349}Have we decided on lunch?
{42351}{42450}Well, I suppose you will be wanting sushi,|my little yellow friend?
{42518}{42543}What?
{42579}{42714}Inspector, we never refer to Japanese|people as "our little yellow friends."
{42715}{42786}- But why?|- Because it is a stereotype.
{42815}{42876}Inspector, are you prejudiced|against Asians?
{42878}{42955}Well, of course not.|Except when they drive.
{42957}{42987}Have you ever seen them drive?
{42989}{43040}They can hardly see over|the steering wheel.
{43042}{43125}- Inspector.|- Well, I'm sorry, Mrs. Berenger.
{43127}{43219}I suppose I'm a bit of a dumb blonde|about this.
{43220}{43307}- What?|- You must never refer to blondes that way.
{43309}{43373}- But they are so dumb.|- Oh, my God.
{43478}{43523}Were you just ogling her?
{43525}{43578}- No.|- Yes, you were.
{43580}{43630}I did not.
{43632}{43686}- You did.|- I did not.
{43702}{43746}- You did it again.|- No, I didn't.
{43747}{43786}- Yes, you did. I saw it.|- I did not.
{43788}{43840}- No, you didn't.|- You did it.
{43888}{43922}- You did it again!|- No, I didn't.
{43923}{43949}- Yes, you did.|- I did not.
{43950}{43996}- Yes, you did.|- Oh, my God, look!
{43998}{44034}Oh, my God...
{44388}{44418}Ponton?
{44427}{44485}I had it out with my wife.
{44487}{44560}I told her that she must not|question me about my work,
{44562}{44659}and that my home life must take|second place to my career.
{44661}{44767}Good for you. Congratulations!|You are now a real man.
{44769}{44822}So, then, can I stay here with you?
{44823}{44893}- What?|- May I stay here? I got kicked out.
{44924}{45038}- Yes, I suppose. Temporarily.|- Thank you.
{45040}{45078}It's okay, boys.
{45146}{45182}What are these?
{45238}{45262}Ponton?
{45263}{45372}They are my sons, Louis and Antoine.|They took my side of the argument.
{45374}{45410}And this is Jacques.
{45411}{45482}They named him after you.|They idolize you.
{45659}{45715}Uncle Jacques, what's that?
{45759}{45844}That is an award given to me|by the President of France.
{45872}{45902}Go ahead.
{45964}{46055}- Is that the Pink Panther?|- No, it's a replica.
{46057}{46139}A copy given to me|for recovering the real diamond
{46140}{46182}and returning it to France.
{46184}{46247}Let's show Uncle Jacques what we won.
{46286}{46364}We won these in a competition|in karate school.
{46366}{46415}That is so cute.
{46476}{46538}Now, let me show you a real trophy.
{46599}{46677}One I won at a karate competition|just recently.
{46710}{46748}Wow!
{46750}{46803}- You like karate?|- We love it.
{46823}{46858}Remember, boys.
{46859}{47015}The secret to a successful karate attack|is the element of surprise.
{47227}{47270}- Good one.|- Thank you.
{47367}{47466}To find the Tornado,|we must consider his motives.
{47468}{47561}I'm worried that right now,|the thief is trying to sell the goods.
{47563}{47594}Right.
{47595}{47670}"Hey, buddy, do you want to buy|the Shroud of Turin?"
{47672}{47760}No. These items are too famous to be sold.
{47762}{47859}Only the Pink Panther can be cut up|and sold as smaller gems.
{47861}{47922}I suspect that's what he wants.
{47923}{47963}I have something.
{48001}{48147}This says the computer that hacked into|the museum is located in Rome.
{48156}{48232}- Rome?|- Yes. Is something wrong?
{48253}{48328}No. No. Rome means nothing to me.
{48380}{48415}I mean...
{48575}{48638}Rome? Do you know who lives in Rome?
{48639}{48717}- Alonso Avellaneda!|- The black market art dealer.
{48719}{48786}The man rumoured to be|the Tornado's fence.
{49228}{49258}There's always been a suspicion
{49259}{49343}that Avellaneda's not just the Tornado's|fence, but the Tornado himself.
{49345}{49372}He is the right age.
{49374}{49427}Do we have a sample of his DNA?
{49429}{49512}Not yet, but we should be in Rome|in one hour.
{49514}{49558}Where is our pilot?
{49560}{49643}I don't trust any other pilot|for my plane but myself.
{49664}{49699}Your plane.
{49725}{49795}Nicoletta,|would you like to be my co-pilot?
{49884}{49936}- Come.|- Okay.
{50252}{50357}- Would I be disturbing you if I joined you?|- No, no. Please disturb me.
{50476}{50546}I've been thinking a lot|about what you said outside the museum,
{50547}{50611}about the psychology of the criminal.
{50631}{50663}The "why?"
{50711}{50790}Perhaps romantic disappointment.
{50808}{50930}A foolish young woman|who leaves a man for a younger man.
{50963}{51010}That could never happen.
{51021}{51062}But of course.
{51064}{51114}What a man such as that should do
{51115}{51238}is start a new romance|with someone more appreciative.
{51385}{51490}That is so funny. "Start a new romance."
{51503}{51599}I'm not quite sure what you mean,|but that is funny.
{51718}{51835}It appears that Inspector Clouseau|does not find Miss Solandres drab.
{51948}{51973}"Drab"?
{51975}{52044}The very word|that he used to describe you.
{52063}{52125}- He called me drab?|- And disgusting.
{52152}{52185}Disgusting?
{52249}{52281}Thank you.
{52650}{52720}Hey, Ponton.|Tell me more about Inspector Clouseau.
{52722}{52810}He's a brilliant man, unorthodox, oblique.
{52827}{52877}But I can tell you|with absolute confidence,
{52879}{52943}he's the man who will solve this case.
{52945}{53011}Ponton-San, you are crazy.
{53071}{53139}If Clouseau solves this case,|I am perfectly willing to run around
{53141}{53220}like a bare-bummed idiot|wearing nothing but a tutu.
{53274}{53325}Well, let's talk about Avellaneda.
{53327}{53414}- What are his proclivities?|- He's an art connoisseur,
{53416}{53455}but because of his questionable dealings,
{53457}{53522}he was thrown out of Spain|and must live here.
{53524}{53602}You see?|He has squandered his reputation,
{53603}{53670}and he is forced to live in the woods|like an animal
{53671}{53721}with the shame of being a criminal.
{53723}{53838}If there is one absolute truth in this|world, it is that crime does not pay.
{54076}{54137}You say the bullet hole is|behind his right shoulder?
{54139}{54163}Yes.
{54165}{54274}Then all we have to do is figure out a way|to get him to remove his shirt.
{54485}{54534}I was half expecting you.
{54551}{54608}Are you the so-called "Dream Team"?
{54610}{54676}And who is it|who is inquiring of us who we are?
{54678}{54790}I am Alonso Avellaneda.|Is this more of that Tornado nonsense?
{54791}{54864}We shall see who is the one|who will be saying nonsensical things
{54866}{54922}that are something of nonsense.
{55039}{55135}Well, I suppose I must bow|to the inevitable.
{55137}{55211}Please, come inside.|I'll join you in a moment.
{55466}{55499}Nicole.
{55501}{55623}While the Dream Team plays its|little games, I am going to snoop around.
{55751}{55784}Who cares?
{55871}{55999}So, gentlemen and ladies,|please make yourselves at home.
{56029}{56074}Now, how can I help you?
{56075}{56166}Señor Avellaneda,|where were you last Friday evening?
{56167}{56232}Dining with my daughter and my ex-wife.
{56264}{56299}Don't believe me, call them.
{56301}{56338}Why call them?
{56340}{56433}They already lied for you|on the stand 10 years ago.
{56435}{56479}I am not the Tornado.
{56481}{56546}Do you mind|if I examine your computer system?
{56547}{56598}Be my guest. I have nothing to hide.
{56600}{56664}Sometimes things hide in plain sight.
{56796}{56838}My security system.
{57139}{57188}Answer this question.
{57190}{57280}In the past, you admitted to dealings|with IL Tornado?
{57282}{57342}Yes, but that was 10 years ago.
{57343}{57421}Besides, I never saw his face.
{57423}{57502}How did you conduct these transactions|if you never saw his face?
{57503}{57591}He was in disguise.|He always wore a mask.
{57593}{57665}Did you call him Zorro?|Or the Power Ranger?
{57667}{57727}Come, come, señor Avellaneda,|you expect us to believe
{57729}{57796}that two grown men|do millions of dollars of business
{57798}{57843}with each other|and you never saw his face?
{57845}{57883}Perhaps I saw him once.
{57885}{57971}Did it look something like this?|Or this? How about this?
{57973}{58066}No, I've told you. I am not the Tornado.
{58067}{58110}How did you pay him?
{58131}{58200}With deposits into Swiss bank accounts.
{58202}{58258}Numbered. Untraceable.
{58303}{58348}I understand.
{58350}{58450}Look, I know my answers|are less than satisfactory.
{58477}{58524}I realize that.
{58526}{58583}Does this mean|I must spend the rest of my life
{58584}{58625}living under a cloud of suspicion?
{58627}{58690}- Forgive my intrusion.|- Yes.
{58691}{58754}There is one way to prove your innocence.
{58755}{58803}Back in 1996, while perpetrating a crime...
{58805}{58892}Yes, yes, yes. He received a bullet wound|in the shoulder.
{58940}{58990}Is this what it's come to?
{59019}{59107}That I must strip down|and remove my clothes
{59109}{59161}in the sanctity of my own home
{59163}{59269}before a group of people I've only just met|just to prove my innocence?
{59271}{59316}Well, it wouldn't hurt.
{59354}{59415}Fine. Let's get it over with, then.
{59711}{59771}I believe it was the right shoulder.
{59979}{60100}So I hope this proves beyond doubt|that I am not the Tornado.
{60102}{60162}We will have to leave you in peace.
{60807}{60889}He's already shown us his shoulders.|There is no wound.
{60932}{60963}He did?
{61039}{61097}- The man is guilty.|- There's no physical evidence.
{61099}{61126}Clouseau!
{61128}{61204}He removed his shirt twice,|and there was no bullet hole.
{61206}{61275}Haven't you ever heard|of cosmetic surgery?
{61333}{61394}Yes. Of course you have.
{61537}{61638}Clouseau Inspector,|I even checked all the house's computers.
{61639}{61694}None of them are used|to hack into the museum.
{61696}{61726}Still...
{61741}{61818}Clouseau, can't you see|what's plain in front of you?
{61820}{61885}Your unrelenting stubbornness|is maddening.
{61887}{62001}And I'm telling you I sense|the presence of the Tornado in that house.
{62216}{62264}They don't know anything.
{62295}{62370}That blasted bullet wound. It's my mark.
{62428}{62474}One day they'll find me.
{62475}{62526}You're in no danger, Laurence.
{62527}{62576}This is all very strange.
{62606}{62654}I even know one of them.
{62670}{62699}You do?
{62739}{62787}- Which one?|- You know me.
{62828}{62869}Isn't it obvious?
{63023}{63069}Inspector, excuse me.
{63071}{63190}Are you familiar with a Spanish restaurant|here in Rome called La Plata de Nada?
{63192}{63245}Know it? I destroyed it.
{63247}{63341}I found this in a jammed paper shredder.
{63353}{63442}8:00 tonight.|The grand re-opening of La Plata de Nada.
{63444}{63492}And I thought, "Why would Avellaneda"
{63494}{63582}"shred a simple reminder|of a dinner appointment?"
{63584}{63628}Good work, Ponton.
{63651}{63728}- So what should we do?|- Our jobs, Ponton.
{63730}{63851}We investigate, see who he's eating with.|Perhaps the Tornado.
{63879}{63905}You go on ahead.
{63907}{64006}Ponton and I will get a taxi|and do a little sightseeing.
{64213}{64350}This stakeout was a good idea, Ponton.|Fortunately, I'm an expert lip-reader.
{64351}{64498}He's saying, "Never retune a wet piano."
{64500}{64525}Why is he saying that?
{64527}{64611}No, he is saying, "My wife will not be back|in Italy until Sunday."
{64613}{64703}- No wonder he shredded the message.|- What is all this?
{64705}{64758}Before they opened tonight, I snuck in,
{64759}{64841}found out which table he'd reserved,|and planted a bug.
{64843}{64934}But how did you find out which table|they would be seated at?
{64971}{65031}You rubbed your fingers together.
{65044}{65086}That is surprising.
{65196}{65258}What is she doing here with him?
{65331}{65374}I'm sorry, Inspector.
{65387}{65430}We've got to find out|what they are saying.
{65431}{65466}Why?
{65467}{65550}We've got to move the bug|from that table to that table.
{65552}{65627}- How?|- Let me handle it.
{65749}{65805}Hello. Remember me?
{65908}{65951}Don't you come back.
{66612}{66669}What's wrong?|You don't like this restaurant?
{66671}{66746}Oh, no.|No, I have been here one time before.
{66747}{66785}It's very nice.
{70207}{70263}There. It is out.
{71690}{71778}We've been able to confirm|that the Pope's ring has been stolen.
{71780}{71886}Ironically, the Dream Team|was no less than five miles away in Rome.
{71887}{71992}The Italian people are outraged|that the Tornado was able to pull this off
{71994}{72038}right under their noses.
{72287}{72312}Mr. Clouseau.
{72314}{72380}Mr. Pepperidge, was the Dream Team|sleeping last night during the theft?
{72381}{72405}No comment.
{72407}{72468}Do you think|they will ever recover the ring?
{72470}{72526}If I made a comment after I'd said,|"No comment,"
{72528}{72588}I'd look like a complete ass, wouldn't I?
{73466}{73542}Do not worry.|Vicenzo Roccara Squarcialupi Brancaleone
{73544}{73586}swears to you by all that is holy,
{73588}{73672}that St. Peter's ring|will be restored to the Church.
{73674}{73725}Please sit down.
{73775}{73808}Now, Mr. Pope,
{73810}{73899}do you happen to know right now|the whereabouts of your hat?
{73947}{74021}- My hat?|- Yes, your big, pointy hat.
{74023}{74062}No, I don't know.
{74095}{74221}Then I am probably sitting on it.|I thought I felt a little...
{74360}{74401}This can be fixed.
{74473}{74509}As good as new.
{74532}{74561}Now...
{74632}{74679}How do we know|it wasn't you who stole the ring
{74681}{74749}so you could collect|on the insurance money?
{74751}{74831}- I am the Pope.|- Forgive me, Mr. Pope,
{74859}{74920}it's just that sometimes|when I speak so forcefully,
{74922}{75030}people just crack instantly.|Now, was the ring insured?
{75044}{75100}The ring is priceless.|It cannot be insured.
{75102}{75185}- So you had no reason to steal the ring.|- I own the ring.
{75187}{75299}Perhaps you wanted to sell the ring|so you could live in a big, fancy house.
{75315}{75351}I kind of do.
{75427}{75547}Now, let me reconstruct the crime.|You came into the room when?
{75549}{75609}- At 9:00.|- And what was the first thing you did?
{75611}{75703}I went out on the balcony|to admire the Lord's handiwork.
{75705}{75816}The moon that night was so beautiful.|It made me close to the Lord.
{75818}{75941}I'm picking up on something.|You're a very spiritual man, aren't you?
{75966}{76083}It's part of my job to read people.|I think I'm quite good at it, too.
{76123}{76184}- And then what did you do?|- I removed my robes.
{76186}{76241}- And you put them...|- In the closet.
{76243}{76283}- May I?|- Certainly.
{76371}{76422}You know,|if you organized your closets by colour,
{76424}{76484}it would save you time|in your rush to get to work in the morning.
{76485}{76547}It's what I do, and it saves me time.
{76549}{76599}Now, in order to better|visualize the crime,
{76601}{76680}I'm going to place myself in your position.
{76682}{76740}- With your permission.|- Certainly.
{77173}{77303}So, I come home, it's 9:00 p.m.|"I think I'll go look at the moon."
{77304}{77385}I am going out onto the balcony.
{77449}{77540}I walk out on the balcony.|I am now out on the balcony.
{77784}{77884}I am looking at the moon.|I am looking at the moon.
{77886}{77992}I'm feeling very, very spiritual.|I come back in.
{78056}{78130}- And what did you do next?|- I went out for the second time.
{78131}{78206}You went out a second time|to look at the moon.
{78263}{78301}It's the Pope.
{78344}{78436}Looking at the moon,|18 seconds has gone by.
{78503}{78597}18 seconds is enough time|for the thief to have gained entrance.
{78599}{78678}Now, you see why it is important|to re-create the events.
{78680}{78788}Or perhaps the thief was hiding|in a ledge or recess.
{78790}{78889}Or perhaps he was clinging|to the underside of the...
{79467}{79538}Thank you, God. Thank you.
{79540}{79614}Chief Inspector,|Joubert wants to speak to you.
{79621}{79662}He wants Clouseau off the case.
{79663}{79698}- No!|- No?
{79699}{79781}No, let's wait till he does|something really embarrassing.
{80443}{80472}Home.
{80575}{80616}- Surprise attack!|- Surprise attack!
{80618}{80702}- Not now, I'm depressed.|- Perfect for our advantage.
{80773}{80882}The secret to an attack|is the element of surprise, remember?
{81537}{81631}Now I will teach you|who is the karate master.
{81906}{81971}Now watch what I will do to your head.
{81973}{82011}Now, Antoine.
{82283}{82338}Let's talk about this, boys.
{83117}{83226}Come, little ones. All is forgiven.
{83340}{83396}Ponton, can we see Clouseau?
{83398}{83435}Is the French idiot home?
{83437}{83483}How does he feel about his disgrace?
{83484}{83552}Inspector Clouseau|is the consummate professional.
{83554}{83619}He always exhibits grace under pressure.
{83664}{83715}Die, little piglets!
{83943}{84046}My God, do you understand|what you have done that is wrong?
{84048}{84107}- Just remind me.|- You cannot beat up children
{84108}{84217}- and call them piglets.|- The world is changing so fast.
{84219}{84304}Inspector, you have failed to improve|at every opportunity.
{84306}{84407}You are the most small-minded nitwit|I have ever encountered.
{84409}{84524}- I am sure I can do better.|- Very well, we'll give you one more try.
{84543}{84646}I'm going to hold up a series of images,|and I want you to tell me what you see.
{84648}{84727}Just say the first thing|that comes into your mind.
{84729}{84771}A drunken Irishman.
{84790}{84842}An Englishman with bad teeth.
{84858}{84912}A San Francisco Nancy boy.
{84935}{85008}A Polish army officer|driving a septic tank.
{85010}{85066}Where did you get these cards?
{85101}{85197}It's in every newspaper all over the world.|We're all being made to look like idiots.
{85199}{85267}Reputations built up over a lifetime|utterly ruined.
{85269}{85345}I had to quit being a Buddhist|because I feel so much hate.
{85347}{85391}He sat on the Pope's hat!
{85393}{85497}Look, he recovered the Pink Panther once,|and I believe he can do it again.
{85499}{85581}If he solves this case, I'm perfectly|willing to run around for 24 hours
{85583}{85696}wearing nothing but a tutu|and carrying a big, pink, fluffy handbag.
{85698}{85779}I say we take a vote to get rid of him.|All in favour?
{85867}{85935}Whatever it is, count me in.
{85955}{86054}Clouseau, while you were|falling off of the Pope's balcony
{86056}{86155}dressed as the Pope,|I discovered a key piece of evidence.
{86157}{86227}And what is this key piece of evidence?
{86257}{86285}A key.
{86287}{86384}I found this on the Pope's bedroom floor.|Something, of course, you overlooked.
{86386}{86423}That could mean anything.
{86425}{86528}But if this key is so important,|I will take it and duly examine it.
{86530}{86574}Inspector Clouseau.
{86616}{86759}It is my not-so-sad duty to inform you|that you have been voted off of the team.
{86818}{86847}Off the team?
{86849}{86920}You are no longer part|of this investigation.
{87004}{87034}Cheerio.
{87269}{87298}Nicole.
{87368}{87415}- Nicole?|- Inspector.
{87467}{87519}I was just returning a file.
{87552}{87635}What are you doing in Nicole's office?
{87636}{87718}- When I got fired...|- You thought Nicole was the one person
{87719}{87820}- you could share it with.|- Well, we do go back.
{87877}{87929}Story of my life,
{87931}{88038}the men I'm interested in|aren't the ones interested in me.
{88040}{88150}Really? I would think all men|would be interested in you.
{88165}{88231}- Why do you say that?|- Because...
{88461}{88580}you are very attractive.|I will see you in my office in five.
{88738}{88795}But really, there is no one?
{88860}{88971}Frankly speaking, the one big love|of my life didn't quite work out.
{88973}{89011}You poor thing.
{89107}{89138}Nicole!
{89163}{89273}No, no, no, don't let me interrupt.|I only have a message from Vicenzo.
{89275}{89341}He wants you both at this address,|immediately.
{89343}{89411}He has decided he needs my expertise.
{89413}{89449}No. They've solved the case.
{89451}{89510}- What?|- They've solved the case.
{89723}{89778}Inspector, welcome.
{89779}{89825}Even though|we've had certain disagreements,
{89827}{89928}we are willing to share the glory with you|out of our respect for la Francia.
{89930}{89992}Pepperidge examined the key|and knew right away
{89994}{90039}it was made by a French locksmith.
{90041}{90131}Kenji did research on the locksmiths|in Paris who sell this brand.
{90133}{90225}We asked for a list of addresses|and we found this apartment.
{90246}{90333}When we got here,|we found the owner licking the carpet.
{90399}{90454}His name is Laurence Milliken.
{90471}{90515}And the stolen items?
{90688}{90731}The Shroud of Turin!
{90759}{90837}We should have it dry-cleaned|before we return it.
{90859}{90946}The Pope's ring.|His wife will be happy to have that back.
{90992}{91080}- And where is the Pink Panther?|- Unfortunately, that cannot be recovered.
{91082}{91117}No Pink Panther?
{91119}{91194}- He explained in his suicide note.|- Yes.
{91248}{91313}"Life had become horribly dull|and uninteresting."
{91315}{91383}"Nothing matched the excitement|of stealing great treasures,"
{91385}{91416}"so I returned,"
{91418}{91484}"but I found that even stealing|no longer interested me."
{91486}{91559}"Without a purpose,|I no longer wish to live."
{91561}{91666}"I am returning every treasure but one.|The Pink Panther."
{91667}{91716}"Having it in my possession|for even a few days"
{91718}{91782}"made me realize its fabulous beauty."
{91783}{91863}"No one must have it but me,|so I destroyed it."
{91865}{91949}"The Pink Panther is dust,|a final revenge."
{91951}{92019}"Laurence Milliken, the Tornado."
{92110}{92210}I spent four years researching and writing|my book. I hoped to meet him alive.
{92212}{92286}The Tornado was an expert|on gems and their value?
{92288}{92342}Yes, in fact, Milliken was the author
{92343}{92408}of the most authoritative book|on the subject.
{92410}{92522}This man did not commit these crimes.|The case has not been solved.
{92524}{92620}But, look, there's the wound|from 10 years ago.
{92622}{92682}- I stake my reputation on it.|- Well, that's not much.
{92684}{92736}- The media are outside.|- Then I will announce
{92738}{92807}- that we have solved the case.|- I wouldn't.
{92831}{92898}- I will.|- I wouldn't do it.
{92915}{92999}- I am going to.|- I wouldn't.
{93147}{93260}I am delighted to announce|that we have found IL Tornado.
{93262}{93316}The dead man in the apartment
{93318}{93389}is indubitably|the perpetrator of these crimes.
{93391}{93477}Actually, one of us disagrees|with this hypothesis.
{93479}{93547}I am sure that Milliken is not the thief.
{93675}{93763}Hold it. We're getting the report|on the DNA evidence.
{93765}{93854}The DNA taken from the body|of Laurence Milliken today
{93855}{93944}and the DNA taken 10 years ago|from the blood of the Tornado
{93946}{94037}are a 100% match.
{94069}{94133}The man inside is the Tornado.
{94294}{94358}I'd like to thank my colleagues|for their assistance,
{94359}{94437}and especially one of your own|here in la Francia.
{94439}{94535}My most heartfelt appreciation|to Nicoletta.
{94607}{94689}You are a beacon of light|in a forest of darkness.
{94691}{94823}Nicole is no less a thief than IL Tornado|because she has stolen this.
{95467}{95506}Your mama is here.
{95529}{95582}Say goodbye to Uncle Jacques.
{95595}{95676}- Goodbye, Uncle Jacques.|- We love you, Uncle Jacques.
{95692}{95770}You are two fine, young,|little pig persons.
{95798}{95849}- Goodbye, Papa.|- Goodbye.
{95851}{95945}- When will you be coming home, Papa?|- I'm not sure.
{95947}{95977}Goodbye.
{96154}{96255}Well, Ponton,|we are two available men alone in Paris,
{96257}{96319}the most exciting city in the world.
{96342}{96389}How should we spend our evening?
{96462}{96542}- What sort of shampoo is this?|- Jojoba.
{96543}{96586}- Jojoba.|- Jojoba.
{96609}{96656}Let me see the bottle.
{96738}{96835}- It's spelled "Jojoba."|- It's pronounced "Hohoba."
{96837}{96939}It's spelled "Jojoba,"|but it's pronounced "Hohoba."
{96941}{97018}- "Hohoba."|- Why would they do something like that?
{97802}{97908}Well, Ponton, I think our bachelor night|is going very well. Who needs women?
{97910}{97963}I'm going back home|to my wife and children.
{97965}{98103}- What? What brought this on?|- You. I don't wish to end up... I mean...
{98105}{98199}I have decided that love and family|must not come second.
{98201}{98280}If I may, Inspector,|look what that thinking has done for you.
{98282}{98382}What? I'm very happy living alone|with my various shampoos.
{98383}{98476}Inspector, I still think you are|the best detective in the world.
{98478}{98594}Yet, when it comes to love, you never see|what is staring you right in the face.
{98612}{98722}Take Nicole, for example.|Do you know the colour of her eyes?
{98724}{98796}Her pet's name? Her favourite song?
{98798}{98893}You can recite an entire section|of every statute in French criminal law,
{98895}{98992}but you don't know the first thing|about the woman who loves you.
{99083}{99125}Her eyes are brown.
{99182}{99238}She loves the smell of vanilla.
{99275}{99333}She's allergic to shellfish.
{99335}{99431}She has a small scar on her ankle,|which I gave her.
{99460}{99534}She loves her cats, Mindy and Wendy,
{99561}{99711}and Cindy, Delores, Frank,|Maxime, Caligula and Louise.
{99742}{99804}And she does not think she is pretty.
{99823}{99890}And I can never tell her she is pretty.
{99891}{99952}- Otherwise...|- Otherwise what?
{99994}{100138}If she knew how pretty she is,|she might choose someone other than me.
{100196}{100237}- Ponton.|- Yes?
{100275}{100312}I need a hug.
{100357}{100383}Okay.
{100423}{100469}And now, conditioner.
{100551}{100657}After more than a decade, the infamous|Tornado has finally been unmasked.
{100659}{100725}Thanks to the work|of the international Dream Team.
{100727}{100819}Their success is being celebrated tonight|in a very exclusive event.
{100821}{100934}Let's go live now to the Petit Palais|in Paris, where the gala is underway.
{101216}{101255}So, tell us about the case.
{101257}{101329}This was really not|one of my most challenging cases.
{101331}{101371}I'm surprised it even took us this long...
{101373}{101442}My powers of observation|are so finely tuned by this point
{101444}{101523}that just one look at any situation,|and ideas come flooding into me.
{101525}{101586}Modern technology makes|the modern criminal obsolete.
{101588}{101645}And what about the Pink Panther?
{101732}{101854}- Too bad it was destroyed.|- Yes, we're very sorry about that.
{101856}{101893}Three out of four isn't bad.
{101895}{101945}- 75%.|- Yes, brilliant.
{102254}{102312}- Inspector.|- Miss Solandres.
{102314}{102362}- Quite a snarl here.|- Yes, I know.
{102364}{102459}A spot just opened up. Take it.|I'll watch the meter for you.
{102559}{102609}- Nice car.|- It's a rental.
{102622}{102710}I figured Paris, excitement,|romance, you know.
{102711}{102806}- I'm leaving Paris tonight, on the redeye.|- Bon voyage.
{102807}{102849}Goodbye, Inspector.
{103019}{103061}- You know Mrs. Dreyfus?|- Yes, sir.
{103063}{103134}Well, let me know immediately|if she arrives.
{103324}{103361}- Nicole.|- Yes.
{103363}{103429}- I thought you might be hungry.|- Well...
{103454}{103534}- That is very thoughtful of you.|- Cute car.
{103535}{103586}It's Miss Solandres' car.
{103637}{103722}- Well, it's a little chilly out here, so...|- Nicole?
{103823}{103868}You are very pretty.
{103887}{103987}Well, that's odd. Some would say|I was drab and disgusting.
{103989}{104058}Well, who in their right mind|could call you drab and disgusting?
{104060}{104132}Whoever could say something like that,|would...
{104181}{104208}I said it.
{104210}{104259}- He told you?|- Yes, he did.
{104307}{104402}I only said it|because I didn't want him to...
{104404}{104434}To what?
{104471}{104518}To fall in love with you.
{104675}{104726}I don't know what to think.
{105647}{105732}- Ponton speaking.|- Ponton, here's what I want you to do.
{105814}{105870}I'm thinking of recommending
{105872}{105963}the establishment of a permanent|international police force,
{105965}{106055}which, of course,|I would be prepared to command.
{106312}{106345}Excuse me.
{106501}{106555}- What?|- I have solved the case.
{106580}{106635}- What?|- I have solved the case.
{106637}{106738}The case has been solved, Clouseau.|That is why we're having the party,
{106740}{106806}you see, because we've solved the case.
{107138}{107171}Are you all right, Chief Inspector?
{107172}{107271}- It's clueless Clouseau again.|- Is he here?
{107273}{107379}He's so desperate to regain his status|as the Pink Panther hero
{107381}{107450}that he's come up with|the most ingenious theory.
{107452}{107550}- What theory?|- That you are the thief.
{107569}{107594}Me?
{107661}{107723}And that you have the Pink Panther|here with you.
{107725}{107773}Now I'm feeling guilty.
{107775}{107861}I've been feuding with a man|who is mentally handicapped.
{107868}{107937}For one thing, how could Sonia|have performed the theft in Rome?
{107939}{107990}We were all there together.
{108003}{108089}Actually, the rest of|us were all at the bar.
{108091}{108190}If you recall, Miss Solandres|stayed home with a headache.
{108191}{108216}Well, that's right, but...
{108218}{108289}But where would you get the expertise|for these crimes?
{108291}{108379}Well, she is the world's|foremost authority on IL Tornado.
{108439}{108557}Just as a parlour game, what if she|obtained this expertise directly from...
{108559}{108608}What if she were his daughter?
{108610}{108650}- No, that wouldn't...|- A lover.
{108651}{108732}- Yes, a scorned lover.|- Better. Motive.
{108734}{108817}That would explain stealing|the unenforceable items
{108819}{108885}- to direct attention...|- To IL Tornado.
{108887}{108989}So she can bring him out of hiding|and set him up as the perpetrator.
{109010}{109110}- Then she could kill him, forge a note...|- And keep the Pink Panther.
{109111}{109171}As Clouseau said, the one fenceable item.
{109173}{109256}Congratulations, gentlemen,|a very diverting and amusing puzzle
{109258}{109318}solved in two minutes.
{109388}{109416}Bravo.
{109483}{109522}Open your purse.
{109558}{109647}Nicoletta, you misunderstand.|This is a game, an exercise.
{109649}{109732}Yes, but just to complete the game,|let's have a look.
{109796}{109844}I have a plane to catch.
{109917}{109973}Seriously, gentlemen!
{110066}{110148}Okay, let's get this over and done with.
{110247}{110283}Oh, my God! He was right.
{110375}{110473}Stop! I am the one you want, not her.
{110489}{110621}Only I possess the evidence that will keep|you in prison for the rest of your life.
{110623}{110695}So if you're going to shoot anyone,|shoot me.
{110723}{110751}Okay.
{110793}{110857}Perhaps I did not think that through.
{110964}{110994}Jacques!
{111027}{111069}I wish I'd shot him.
{111122}{111187}Look, his Medal of Honour|absorbed the bullet.
{111189}{111216}- What?|- Not exactly.
{111218}{111288}The bullet ricocheted|and killed the waiter.
{111304}{111362}Where's Sonia?
{111363}{111430}She mustn't escape. I'll stop her.
{112322}{112352}Get back.
{112403}{112520}That gun is pointless. There are four of|us, and you only have four bullets left.
{112570}{112612}That doesn't add up.
{112878}{112949}All right, I'm warning you, Miss Solandres,|I've got a...
{112951}{112979}Spoon?
{112991}{113030}I've got a knife.
{113948}{113996}Stop. You cannot escape.
{114151}{114246}- You don't have a match.|- That's right.
{114307}{114369}Never use an elevator during a fire.
{114420}{114466}Fire? Leave this to me.
{115235}{115310}In the name of the statutes and laws|of the great nation of France,
{115311}{115412}you are under arrest for the theft|of the world's most priceless...
{115595}{115638}You are under arrest!
{115833}{115894}Let me go, or I will destroy it.
{115896}{115952}- Let her go.|- Let her do it.
{115954}{116005}Are you insane?
{116475}{116516}Good work, Ponton.
{116527}{116688}You moron! You twerp!|You sad excuse for a human being!
{116690}{116794}You have just destroyed|the sacred symbol of France!
{116820}{116920}- Ponton, did you bring what I asked for?|- Boys.
{117001}{117078}- Here it is, Uncle Jacques.|- Yes, yes.
{117111}{117207}I knew the Tornado would eventually|come after the Pink Panther.
{117220}{117317}So I went to the musée|with a simple plan in mind.
{117319}{117401}I had convinced my old friend,|Robert the night guard,
{117403}{117504}to turn off the security system|for the few moments necessary
{117506}{117586}to save the most beautiful object|in France.
{117587}{117695}I then switched the Pink Panther|with the replica I had at home.
{117712}{117766}This is the real Pink Panther.
{117823}{117879}It was the fake that was stolen.
{117911}{117974}Nightmare. Nightmare.
{118005}{118087}And when the Tornado,|an expert on the quality of gems,
{118089}{118179}wrote in his supposed suicide note|of its great beauty,
{118181}{118299}I knew he could never have been the thief.|He would have recognized it as a fake.
{118327}{118391}How did you figure out it was Sonia?
{118393}{118482}It was because I spent the last 17 months|on parking duty.
{118503}{118533}What?
{118591}{118683}Today, I was staring|at Miss Solandres' license plate.
{118685}{118802}I recognized it because of|my unique system of cross-referencing.
{118830}{118927}I became aware that I had|given a ticket to the same car
{118929}{119029}two days before Miss Solandres|claimed she arrived in Paris.
{119066}{119146}One day before|the Pink Panther was stolen.
{119289}{119343}You followed my instructions|very well, Clouseau.
{119345}{119439}It was I, of course, who put Clouseau|onto the parking ticket assignment.
{119441}{119500}- Isn't that so, Inspector?|- No.
{119569}{119610}And at Avellaneda's mansion,
{119612}{119674}when I sensed the presence|of the Tornado,
{119676}{119724}he was there, all right.
{119740}{119818}But it was not a he, it was a she!
{120004}{120071}Clouseau is the greatest detective|in the world.
{120073}{120133}His mind is sharper|than all of us combined.
{120135}{120197}- Should we tell him?|- Absolutely not.
{120495}{120537}Inspector Clouseau.
{120555}{120642}Sometimes a man must be bold enough|to speak from the heart.
{120643}{120706}You deserve to know the truth|about Nicole and I.
{120707}{120804}- Stop. I don't want to hear.|- But nothing happened.
{120823}{120871}- Nothing?|- Nothing.
{120887}{120997}- It pains me to admit, but no.|- Not even a little smoochie-woochie?
{121032}{121123}I never had a chance,|because she only has eyes for one man.
{121137}{121162}You.
{121183}{121267}Yes, you. Now please, for God's sake,|kiss her already.
{121396}{121506}Nicole, I have learned that
{121507}{121551}no man is an island.
{121570}{121720}So would you,|even though it may lead to possible injury,
{121751}{121782}marry me?
{122351}{122450}Inspector Dreyfus, thank you again|for agreeing to conduct the ceremony.
{122451}{122525}It makes everything|that much more special.
{122657}{122762}Jacques Clouseau and Nicole Durant.
{122764}{122842}Do you promise to love, honour and obey...
{122843}{122927}Wait! A wife does not|have to obey her husband.
{123014}{123126}Okay, scrap "obey." Do you promise|to love and honour each other?
{123128}{123164}- I do.|- I do.
{123166}{123220}Good! So by the powers vested in me
{123222}{123290}as Chief Inspector|of the 13th Arrondissement,
{123292}{123380}I now declare you husband and wife.
{123855}{123919}Here's to peace and harmony.
{124092}{124139}- The password?|- Hamburger!
{124141}{124177}That's not it.
{124191}{124218}- Hamburger!|- No!
{124220}{124255}- Hamburger!|- No!
{124257}{124348}They must have changed it.|Clouseau, your gadget!
{124350}{124408}Clouseau, what's the new password?
{124434}{124477}It says "low battery."
{124479}{124519}- Low battery.|- No!
{124521}{124581}No, wait. That means the battery is low.
{124583}{124640}It wants me to go online|and renew my subscription.
{124642}{124746}- For God's sake, Clouseau!|- Kenji, please take care of this.
{124771}{124820}We have a plane to catch.
{124882}{124936}- Was it beautiful?|- Very beautiful.
{124938}{124994}- Here are your glasses.|- Thanks.
{125048}{125074}Wait.
{125218}{125283}- Was my mother there?|- Yes, absolutely!
{125285}{125353}- Can't you hear her screaming?|- Not really.