{1}{1}23.976
{861}{1017}{Y:b}03 Inspector Clouseau -|Comedy 1968 English
{1202}{1226}[ FUSE SPUTTERING ]
{1722}{1757}[ PINGING ]
{3786}{3814}[ SHATTERING ]
{3859}{3883}[ SHATTERING ]
{4599}{4630}Police Commissioner Braithwaite,
{4631}{4677}what information can you give us?|I've no comment.
{4678}{4709}Sir Charles,|is the same gang that
{4710}{4744}pulled off the Great|Train Robbery involved?
{4745}{4778}I'm afraid that's confidential.
{4778}{4823}Sir Charles, could you tell|us what came of your meeting
{4823}{4854}with the Prime Minister|this morning?
{4854}{4890}All I can say|at this time is that
{4891}{4957}we are bringing in someone to take|command of the entire investigation.
{4958}{4984}An outsider?
{4985}{5037}Well, uh, yes.
{5038}{5110}Isn't that rather a slap in|the face for Scotland Yard?
{5110}{5150}In an emergency of|this magnitude,
{5150}{5197}one must overlook|such minor considerations
{5198}{5242}as to whose nose is out|of joint, mustn't one?
{5242}{5298}Even if it is one's own nose?
{5298}{5361}I don't think that calls for any comment.|Are you likely to...
{5362}{5410}When do you expect this man|to arrive, Sir Charles?
{5594}{5626}[ THUNDER CLAPPING ]
{6115}{6139}[ INAUDIBLE ]
{6175}{6209}[ BANGING ]
{7018}{7057}{Y:i}[ WOMAN ON P.A. CHATTERING ]
{7201}{7253}[ PLANE ENGINES ROARING ]
{7554}{7590}[ JET ENGINE ROARING ]
{7926}{7950}[ THUDDING ]
{8139}{8226}{Y:i}WOMAN ON P.A.:|On flight number 3R-523...
{8226}{8282}WEAVER: Inspector Clouseau? Shh!
{8282}{8341}I'm Weaver,|your opposite number.
{8342}{8386}Oh, that's Shockley.|He's Special Branch.
{8386}{8431}Hello, sir. I'm delighted...|Keep your voice down.
{8431}{8482}You know I'm here|on a secret mission.
{8482}{8549}Uh, yes. Well, if you'd like to|come along, we have a car waiting.
{8550}{8590}But I've not yet|cleared customs.
{8590}{8625}Oh, that's all|been arranged, sir.
{8626}{8655}Standard VIP treatment, you see.
{8655}{8688}Ah, but I'm no vip,
{8689}{8728}and therefore, I must|go through customs
{8729}{8759}like any humble French tourist.
{8759}{8790}Honestly, sir, I assure you...
{8791}{8826}That is my cover, you fool.
{8826}{8850}[ SLAPPING ]
{8886}{8926}Have you anything to declare?
{8926}{8994}No, no. I'm just you average,|typical French tourist
{8995}{9038}on a humble English vacation.
{9039}{9089}Good. Can I see your passport
{9090}{9130}and your debarking ticket?
{9130}{9158}Yes, of course.
{9179}{9246}{Y:i}[ ANNOUNCER ON P.A. CHATTERING ]
{9246}{9300}CLOUSEAU: I have it right here.|I never travel without...
{9378}{9413}Come along now, sir.
{9414}{9473}But you have not yet|seen my passport!
{9474}{9510}I... I have this...
{9510}{9546}Hey, look at this!
{9546}{9606}Don't... Don't grab me|by the right arm like that!
{9730}{9762}At the outset, Clouseau,
{9762}{9824}I think it only fair to...
{9825}{9897}I think it only fair to say that|your being brought in on this case
{9898}{9934}was not my idea.
{9934}{9985}You are too modest.
{9986}{10045}The Prime Minister insisted.
{10046}{10120}Personally, as head of the British|law-enforcing establishment,
{10121}{10161}I can only regard|your presence here
{10162}{10201}as a vote of no confidence.
{10202}{10270}And I, on the other hand,|am extremely confident.
{10270}{10308}Not overconfident, I trust.
{10309}{10348}No, no, no.
{10349}{10398}Not, uh, not overconfident.
{10399}{10453}Good. I'm glad to hear that.
{10454}{10533}We know that the 2.5|million pounds stolen...
{10589}{10645}stolen in our|Great Train Robbery
{10646}{10698}are being used|as operating capital
{10698}{10734}for a far more ambitious crime.
{10734}{10772}Bigger than 2.5 million?
{10773}{10830}Well, we seem to be dealing|with very greedy people.
{10830}{10872}Greedy and ruthless.
{10873}{10930}You are the fourth to be placed|in charge of this operation
{10930}{10980}in the past six months.
{10981}{11078}Well, it seems that Scotland Yard|has had a run of unfortunate luck,
{11078}{11138}but...|Despite our unfortunate luck,
{11199}{11278}we have managed to apprehend|a dozen of the gang,
{11279}{11332}including three|of their top men.
{11333}{11361}I'll show you.
{11398}{11468}[ CLOCK CHIMING ]
{11469}{11526}You may well be acquainted|with some of them.
{11569}{11602}[ SCREEN WHIRRING ]
{11631}{11670}As you know, only yesterday
{11670}{11708}two of these men|escaped from prison.
{11709}{11750}One of them was Frenchy Lebec.
{11750}{11793}CLOUSEAU: It's a familiar face.
{11813}{11882}The other was Steve Frey.
{11883}{11962}And the one still remaining|in custody is Addison Steele.
{11963}{12041}Perhaps I should question that|pleasant-looking Mr. Steele.
{12042}{12104}Don't be fooled by his looks.
{12105}{12151}He can spot a detective|a mile away.
{12173}{12241}[ SCREEN WHIRRING ]
{12242}{12307}But then, you don't look much|like a detective, do you?
{12330}{12359}I try not to.
{12431}{12457}Good.
{12542}{12618}I don't have to tell you|that in our line of work
{12678}{12725}anonymity is a virtue.
{12726}{12762}Any fool knows that.
{12762}{12814}[ MUTTERING ] Anonymity|is next to cleanliness
{12814}{12905}and I don't have to tell|you what that's next to.
{12906}{12965}No, but I have to tell you that|we have recently discovered
{12966}{13029}a security leak in|this very department.
{13030}{13077}In this very department?
{13078}{13115}That is why you are here.
{13150}{13178}The thought was,
{13269}{13330}since you couldn't be the|traitor, we can trust you.
{13350}{13377}But you...
{13431}{13485}But you must trust no one.
{13486}{13537}The viper in our bosom|could be anyone.
{13538}{13618}Anyone. I suspect everyone.
{13618}{13679}Good. You will report|only to me.
{13761}{13823}And what makes you think|I trust you?
{13929}{13970}[ CAR APPROACHING ]
{14817}{14860}[ HAIR DRYER BLOWING ]
{14861}{14898}Be right with you.
{14898}{14926}Don't rush.
{14958}{14992}[ SWITCHES HAIR DRYER OFF ]
{14993}{15045}Don't worry. I never do.
{15151}{15185}[ SWITCHES HAIR DRYER ON AGAIN ]
{15258}{15283}There.
{15353}{15390}Now,
{15390}{15453}like I said, if you just|comb it out every morning,
{15454}{15506}you'll keep the line and still|have plenty of movement
{15507}{15558}round the face, you see what I...|Hmm.
{15587}{15630}I said I'll be right with you.
{15651}{15695}And I said, "Don't rush."
{15725}{15814}And I said, "Don't worry.|I never do."
{16075}{16133}Oh, that's excellent, Steele.
{16134}{16189}Excellent,|I like that very much.
{16190}{16214}[ CHUCKLES ]
{16291}{16337}You know, you missed|your vocation.
{16338}{16374}STEELE: Oh, glad you like it.
{16374}{16407}You do a marvellous job.
{16437}{16482}You call that a prison haircut?
{16482}{16540}Special privileges.
{16541}{16634}You might say the, um, warden|and I are as thick as thieves.
{16634}{16704}And this favouritism, how|long has it been going on?
{16705}{16736}For 23 years.
{16737}{16789}You must have murdered|your paediatrician.
{16790}{16822}Oh, they would never|have caught me
{16822}{16878}but for my fingerprints|on the water pistol.
{16937}{16970}I shall let that pass
{16970}{17006}since you cannot possibly know
{17006}{17065}whose leg it is|that you are pushing.
{17066}{17090}[ KNOCKING ]
{17194}{17257}Do look after him, won't|you, Steele, old dear?
{17258}{17302}I doubt if your razor's|sharp enough
{17302}{17349}for the famous|Inspector Clouseau.
{17451}{17500}Smart young criminal.
{17501}{17574}He's the warden's son.|Quite a joker.
{17678}{17750}[ MUMBLING INDISTINCTLY ]
{17917}{17958}CLOUSEAU: The warden's son, eh?
{17959}{18021}He should have known better|than to reveal my identity
{18022}{18065}to a hardened criminal like you.
{18066}{18150}We hardened criminals follow your|career with great interest, Inspector.
{18151}{18204}Oh, ho, ho. As I yours.
{18205}{18261}Sit down, I'll give you a shave.
{18262}{18325}And now, since we are|becoming so chummy,
{18326}{18396}perhaps you will tell me everything you|know about the Great Train Robbery, eh?
{18397}{18430}I don't know nothing.
{18459}{18508}He who don't know nothing
{18509}{18561}knows something, eh?
{18562}{18629}Perhaps even how to|mastermind a robbery, eh?
{18630}{18721}Well, if you want to know about|the mastermind, don't talk to me.
{18722}{18762}Talk to Johnny Rainbow.
{18789}{18845}And, uh, who is this|Johnny Rainbow?
{18961}{19018}Well, it's just|a code name really.
{19075}{19129}None of us ever|met him face-to-face.
{19174}{19226}[ STEAM HISSING ] Now, uh,
{19227}{19296}this is going to be|a little bit hot.
{19297}{19368}I don't mind.|In the words of Robespierre...
{19369}{19440}[ SPEAKING FRENCH ]
{19441}{19510}[ MUMBLING ] Just take a few deep breaths.|That's it.
{19510}{19552}Breathe in very deeply.
{19553}{19608}[ MUMBLING ] A bit more.
{19609}{19670}That's right. There you go.
{19925}{19979}♪ [ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO ] ♪
{20115}{20147}[ VOLUME INCREASING ]
{20245}{20322}Well, I think you'll be pleased with|these items that you requested.
{20323}{20378}Our chaps took some liberties|with your specifications
{20379}{20430}that I think will delight you.
{20430}{20521}Ah, the smoke-signal matches|that you asked for.
{20522}{20610}Oh, yes, wonderful thing|to have them.
{20611}{20662}Now, this you must|watch very carefully.
{20663}{20710}Looks like an ordinary|cigarette lighter
{20711}{20782}but it is, in fact, a high-intensity|laser-beam transmitter.
{20795}{20826}Ingenious.
{20862}{20929}Oh, yes. Just what|the doctor ordered. There.
{20958}{20994}My, my.
{20994}{21038}And what kind of|a thing is this?
{21110}{21146}That's my razor.
{21425}{21461}Normal cigarette case.
{21489}{21542}Here we have|a high-frequency transmitter
{21542}{21593}with built-in ADC.
{21594}{21662}On the other side, an enclosed|microphone and speaker.
{21662}{21690}Wonderful thing.
{21691}{21733}With a self-starting|tape recorder.
{21734}{21773}Say something. Uh?
{21774}{21804}Just say something.
{21805}{21838}What? Anything you like.
{21839}{21900}No, I... No, no, I have a|phobia for recording devices.
{21901}{21934}No, no, please.|I just want to test...
{21934}{21978}I really don't like to use them.
{21979}{22033}Why? I mean, I'm only just trying to|show you the machine, that's all.
{22034}{22069}No, I get embarrassed, if...
{22070}{22125}No, don't be embarrassed. Just|say anything you like. Just...
{22126}{22158}♪ Paris in the springs ♪
{22159}{22209}♪ A wonder to behold ♪
{22210}{22300}♪ The streets are lined ♪|♪ with gold in Paris ♪
{22301}{22350}♪ My love jump in the Seine ♪
{22351}{22413}♪ And it drove me insane ♪
{22414}{22486}♪ If I may be so bold ♪
{22506}{22557}It's a song.
{22558}{22609}Yes, thank you. Very good.
{22631}{22693}I'll just wind it back.
{22694}{22741}{Y:i}[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
{22810}{22858}♪ CLOUSEAU ON TAPE: ♪|♪ Paris in the springs ♪
{22859}{22898}♪  A wonder to behold ♪
{22899}{22953}[ TAPE SQUEAKING ]
{22954}{23012}♪  ...gold in Paris ♪
{23013}{23092}♪ [ DISTORTED ]  My love jump in the ♪|♪ Seine, And it drove me insane  ♪
{23093}{23145}♪  If I may be so bold  ♪
{23146}{23204}Yes, not too much bass at all.
{23205}{23297}It's just some little technical|fault, I'm sure you'll sort it out.
{23298}{23383}Uh... Oh, yes, yes.|There was something. Uh...
{23418}{23484}I want you to take|a good look at me.
{23485}{23562}Have you noticed anything|peculiar about me?
{23563}{23630}No, but then you can't always|tell by looking, can you?
{23650}{23690}I was referring to my dress.
{23702}{23737}Your dress.
{23738}{23798}Now, look. Here, catch.
{23799}{23862}Now, you are armed, correct?|You're correct.
{23862}{23914}Let us assume that|you want to arrest me.
{23914}{23982}Very well. You are under arrest.
{23983}{24058}Oh no, no, no, no.|See, play the...
{24059}{24112}Look, let us assume|that I resist.
{24113}{24166}Well, then you would be|a very foolish fellow
{24167}{24213}because I'm a deadly shot|with a pistol.
{24214}{24274}Yes, but how long|would it take you
{24274}{24324}to reach your pistol? Too late!
{24325}{24377}[ BULLETS WHISTLING ]
{24378}{24418}You'd be a dead man, Clouseau.
{24418}{24450}Remarkable!
{24451}{24482}No hands. But...
{24523}{24566}Observe my belt. You see?
{24566}{24629}Three .22s. Miniature missiles.
{24630}{24717}Fires with deadly accuracy up|to a distance of 500 yards.
{24718}{24781}What a wonderful,|wonderful, uh, thing.
{24791}{24817}Yes.
{24834}{24873}Not bad is it, eh?
{24886}{24933}Quite ingenious.
{24934}{25018}It's, uh, all done|with the stomach muscles.
{25018}{25068}Do you, uh... Do you think|you'll get the hang of it?
{25069}{25156}Yes, oh, yes. I have a photographic|memory, you know. Allow me.
{25157}{25194}[ CLOUSEAU EXCLAIMING ]
{25194}{25250}[ LIGHTER ZAPPING ]
{25250}{25279}[ DOUSING ]
{25315}{25342}[ SCREAMS ]
{25342}{25378}Look out for your pipe!
{25466}{25523}[ AIR HISSING ]
{25630}{25718}Oh! That's... That's some|wonderful, wonderful underwear.
{25762}{25834}In the event that anyone should ever|want to throw you into the sea.
{25834}{25889}Yes, but you know,|how do you, uh...
{25890}{25937}How do you have it laundered?
{25938}{25994}Well, I should recommend dry|cleaning, you stupid...
{25994}{26026}[ LAUGHING ]
{26027}{26114}Well, with your equipment|and my finesse,
{26114}{26166}we're going to give those crooks|a run for their money, eh?
{26166}{26206}Our money! Our money.
{26207}{26245}Yes, well, of course.|You're right.
{26246}{26306}Yes, I'm always right.|It is a problem with me.
{26306}{26374}Yes, strange. I too...
{26375}{26408}I too have that problem.
{26409}{26498}Yes, we have a lot in common.|Oh, yes.
{26499}{26558}Our lives, in the game|of crime and punishment,
{26559}{26646}are bound like lovers|inextricably together.
{26706}{26731}It's a poem.
{26810}{26864}You ought to meet my wife.
{26865}{26933}Your queen did not bring me|here to socialize.
{26934}{26988}I didn't mean my queen,|I meant my wife.
{26989}{27045}I didn't mean your queen,|I meant your wife.
{27077}{27108}You don't know my wife.
{27109}{27161}But I'd be delighted.|Shall we say 8:00?
{27215}{27262}Dinner? Charmed, I'm sure.
{27513}{27592}There he is.|Let us run him down now.
{27593}{27653}Don't be stupid, Frenchy.
{27654}{27694}In front of Weaver's house?
{27929}{27965}[ MUTTERING ]
{27966}{27995}[ DOORBELL RINGS ]
{28165}{28222}Oh, good evening. You must be|the Inspector. Good evening.
{28222}{28260}Yes, I must. I am Lisa.
{28261}{28318}Ah, well, then you must|call me Jacques.
{28318}{28373}And I hope you don't mind|your husband inviting me here
{28374}{28426}on such short notice.|Oh, I'm not Mrs. Weaver.
{28427}{28487}I'm Lisa Morell.|Haven't you been told?
{28503}{28554}No, but, uh,
{28554}{28601}then I like to|find out for myself.
{28623}{28673}I must see you alone.
{28674}{28722}Yes, well, that's the only way.
{28723}{28784}But this isn't the proper place.
{28785}{28826}Right, well, then let's run away
{28827}{28862}till before they know|that I'm here.
{28863}{28932}[ WHISPERING ] No, I can't leave now.|Trust me.
{28933}{28993}Yes, I do. I trust you|to the ends of the earth.
{29022}{29047}Ah.
{29142}{29169}[ CHUCKLES ]
{29262}{29306}Come on. Thank you, thank you.
{29334}{29374}Well, I see you've met Lisa.
{29374}{29442}Yes, I have, you sly dog, you.
{29442}{29490}She's our au pair.|Can I have your coat?
{29490}{29541}Yes, of course.
{29542}{29605}What will you have to drink?|Small sherry, perhaps.
{29606}{29686}Lisa, would you get the Inspector|a glass of small sherry?
{29686}{29730}If that's an example|of your maid,
{29731}{29776}then your wife must|really be something.
{29777}{29804}[ WHISTLES ]
{29805}{29850}MRS. WEAVER: Ooh!
{29850}{29937}Could this lovely creature|be your famous French friend?
{29938}{29972}Oh, Weaver, how could you?
{29973}{30020}Well, I haven't,|old boy, not in years.
{30021}{30056}What are you|muttering about, Weaver?
{30057}{30105}Just shop talk, my love.|Just shop talk.
{30106}{30142}Inspector, may I|present my wife.
{30143}{30196}Yes, what a delightful surprise.
{30197}{30234}My wife's a mite Scottish.
{30234}{30282}Ah, yes, lovely people, uh...
{30283}{30362}Robert Burns, cashmere sweaters,|the Loch Ness monster.
{30362}{30424}What's for dinner, dearie?|Nothing.
{30425}{30476}Are you out of your tiny mind?
{30477}{30530}It's the opening of|the Highland Fair tonight
{30531}{30597}and I am the President of the|Daughters of the Heath and Heather.
{30598}{30644}But what about our guest?|I promised him dinner.
{30645}{30682}No, no, don' t trouble yourself.
{30683}{30719}I'm sure Miss Lisa|could fix me a bite.
{30719}{30761}Oh, yes. I can do|a very good omelet.
{30762}{30824}Oh, no! They have gorgeous|goodies at the fair.
{30825}{30911}Come along now. I will not hear|another word about it. Come along.
{31017}{31072}♪ [ BAGPIPES PLAYING ] ♪
{31073}{31117}[ PEOPLE CHATTERING ]
{31567}{31606}[ PEOPLE CLAPPING ]
{31630}{31698}♪ [ LIVELY MUSIC PLAYING ] ♪
{31839}{31885}[ PEOPLE WHOOPING ]
{32426}{32458}[ EXCLAIMING ]
{32459}{32526}D-Down! Okay, okay,|down on the ground.
{32675}{32717}[ CLOUSEAU GRUNTING ]
{32718}{32770}{Y:i}MAN ON P.A.: May I have|your attention, please?
{32770}{32840}{Y:i}It's time to announce|the grand door prize.
{32841}{32874}The door prize.
{32875}{32946}{Y:i}The winning ticket|is number 175.
{32946}{33018}{Y:i}I repeat, 175.
{33019}{33054}{Y:i}Who's the lucky winner?
{33054}{33117}Where's my ticket? I have it!
{33118}{33170}175. I have it!
{33170}{33206}[ FIRING ] I won the prize!
{33266}{33321}[ WOMEN SHRIEKING ]
{33402}{33441}[ MRS. WEAVER EXCLAIMING ]
{33442}{33522}MRS. WEAVER: Oh!|Oh, good gracious me.
{33522}{33581}Shooting may be an everyday|occurrence to you,
{33582}{33630}but it's left me quite unstrung.
{33631}{33672}[ LAUGHING ] Don't, don't.
{33673}{33722}Don't touch my pudding.|And I suggest
{33723}{33761}that you go upstairs|and go to bed.
{33762}{33801}No, I've got a better idea.
{33802}{33853}I'll... I'll just get out|of my tweeds,
{33854}{33937}put on something loose, and you|pour me out a wee half of whiskey.
{33938}{33982}But that girl is going to|tell your husband.
{33983}{34030}Oh, if I know anything|about that wee soul,
{34031}{34070}she'll be sound asleep|in her bed.
{34070}{34114}And Weaver'll be|hours at the morgue,
{34115}{34233}filling in forms, etc. Oh, well.
{34234}{34312}I'll be down in two shakes|of a donkey's tail.
{34313}{34342}Don't rush.
{34387}{34414}Lisa?
{34434}{34462}Lisa?
{34462}{34510}[ WHISPERING ] Here I am.
{34511}{34581}Look. Look what I won at the fiesta.|A plum pudding.
{34582}{34626}I thought maybe you and I|could run away
{34626}{34665}and... and we share it together.
{34666}{34705}Something very important|has just come up.
{34706}{34738}I have to leave. Wait, wait.
{34739}{34796}I'm going to come with you.|No, you must stay here
{34797}{34846}and distract Mrs. Weaver.|It's important.
{34846}{34916}I can't... I can't stand Mrs. Weaver.|She drives me crazy.
{34917}{34980}I've waited all evening to be|here with you. And so have I.
{34981}{35020}MRS. WEAVER:|Don't be impatient, dear.
{35021}{35064}It'll not be long now.
{35065}{35094}[ GROANING ]
{35094}{35148}That's her. I really must go.
{35149}{35177}Take care. Yes.
{35178}{35218}[ SOBBING ]
{36082}{36122}Oh, you bad, wee boy.
{36123}{36184}Where's that drink you|were going to pour for me?
{36185}{36258}I looked all over for it. I can't|find any whiskey anywhere.
{36259}{36322}[ LAUGHING ]
{36322}{36382}Yeah, what an ingenious|place to keep liquor.
{36462}{36500}Oh, dear.
{36501}{36543}Here we are.
{36639}{36673}There we are.
{36695}{36727}That's it.
{36794}{36818}To us.
{36963}{37054}Well, it's time for me to take|my leave, dear lady. I...
{37055}{37105}[ PIANO KEYS BANGING ]
{37106}{37142}I must get my beauty rest.
{37142}{37195}[ MRS. WEAVER EXCLAIMING ]
{37226}{37266}Oh, the excitement.
{37266}{37298}The time has come...
{37298}{37342}[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]|Why, you're shy.
{37342}{37416}Your husband.|You fool, you crazy idiot!
{37417}{37458}Get away! Good, good!
{37501}{37545}Are you Inspector Clouseau? Yes.
{37546}{37598}Commissioner Braithwaite|sent me to fetch you.
{37598}{37634}What took you so long?
{37634}{37684}Well, dear lady, it's been|a wonderful evening.
{37685}{37742}No. But don't rush.|My only regret is that
{37742}{37798}I can't stay around anymore.|{y:i}C'est la vie.
{37835}{37883}That's a sick lady in there.
{37914}{37941}He's coming.
{38298}{38339}Inspector Clouseau, isn't it?
{38359}{38402}Leave it. Let's get out.
{38435}{38514}Clyde Hargreaves.|Blackpool Prison.
{38514}{38553}Oh, yes, the son of the warden.
{38554}{38597}The one with|the warped sense of humour.
{38598}{38654}And you still need a haircut.
{38655}{38745}I don't think you'll find many|laughs in there, Inspector.
{38746}{38816}There is a time for laughing|and a time for not laughing.
{38817}{38863}And this is not one of them.
{38889}{38913}Yes.
{38965}{38989}Yes.
{39030}{39066}[ MAN SNORING ]
{39590}{39636}What's that?|It's my plum pudding.
{39637}{39690}I won it at a picnic.
{39691}{39774}Yes, I heard about|your successful evening.
{39775}{39849}Weaver telephoned me from the|mortuary and told me all about it.
{39850}{39888}You know, well,|it was nothing, you know.
{39889}{39934}I just had the winning|ticket, that's all.
{39935}{40002}Mmm! I can't wait to take|a bite from this thing.
{40003}{40038}Well, never mind.|How do they make...
{40039}{40083}Never mind. How do they|make it such a round...
{40083}{40144}How do they... Clouseau, don't|worry about the plum pudding now.
{40145}{40209}From what I gather, you behaved|disgracefully this evening.
{40210}{40273}Drinking on duty, flirting|with woman after woman,
{40297}{40373}even reciting vulgar limericks.
{40374}{40470}Yes, well, life is not all|shoot-shoot, bang-bang, you know.
{40471}{40529}Nevertheless, you elected to|shoot a man tonight, didn't you?
{40530}{40558}Yes, I did.
{40559}{40610}Thereby revealing your identity.
{40610}{40665}You're correct.
{40666}{40706}Well, I'm afraid that|the way that you work
{40707}{40756}are not the ways that we|work here at Scotland Yard.
{40757}{40826}Well, of course not. Uh, that's why|you brought me from the Surete.
{40826}{40870}If you could|solve your own mess,
{40870}{40918}you wouldn't need me here,|would you?
{40918}{40952}Allow me.
{40953}{40996}[ SHRIEKS ] What the devil|do you think you're doing?
{40997}{41036}Braithwaite! Put it out.
{41037}{41078}Put it out, sir! Take it away!
{41118}{41146}[ EXCLAIMING ]
{41146}{41181}[ COUGHING ]
{41182}{41230}Where there's a will,|there's a way.
{41231}{41270}[ PEOPLE CHATTERING ]
{41333}{41386}I've nursed this bottle|since Dunkirk.
{41449}{41506}Now listen, Clouseau,|I've had enough of this.
{41506}{41561}You should never|have shot Frenchy Lebec.
{41594}{41645}You could have brought him|in for questioning
{41646}{41718}and then we might have gained|some valuable information.
{41719}{41781}But, oh, no, not you.
{41782}{41822}You have to go and get|yourself involved in some
{41822}{41866}idiotic Highland shenanigan.
{41867}{41938}It's utterly disgusting!|Do you hear me?
{41939}{42006}I don't talk to you|when you're like this.
{42007}{42058}I'll come back|when we can discuss this
{42058}{42134}in an atmosphere of mutual|respect and understanding.
{42166}{42194}Good evening.
{42219}{42265}[ WHISTLING ]
{42455}{42510}CLOUSEAU: Will you take|some notes, please?
{42550}{42649}A: What are the facts|at our disposal?
{42650}{42733}B: Let's get down to|the facts at our disposal.
{42734}{42813}C: We know that|there has been a robbery.
{42814}{42865}D: We know also|that certain people
{42866}{42924}are going to|commit this robbery.
{42925}{42974}I think we can|safely assume that.
{42974}{43053}We know that there are people|going to commit this robbery,
{43054}{43124}we know also that they|must get out of the way
{43125}{43178}the people who are|trying to prevent them
{43179}{43218}from committing this robbery.
{43218}{43269}And that would be you. Me?
{43270}{43312}What do they want to get me for?
{43313}{43363}Well, they have already made|one attempt on your life.
{43363}{43390}So they have.
{43406}{43455}Hmm, well.
{43502}{43576}You see how much we have,|uh, learned already?
{43577}{43640}Gosh, that's marvellous! Well, let's...|let's press on on those lines.
{43641}{43690}Yes, let's press on that line.
{43691}{43752}Since they've already made|an attempt at my life,
{43753}{43802}and it has come to|no fruition whatsoever,
{43803}{43842}Yes? ...They will try
{43842}{43874}a more parabolic approach.
{43875}{43934}They will attack me on the bias.|Am I correct in this?
{43935}{43984}On the bias? On the bias,
{43985}{44036}which means that|they will not attack me,
{44037}{44104}but will attack something that I love|more than anything else in the world.
{44105}{44142}And what...
{44143}{44195}What do I love more than anything|else in the world? What does one...
{44195}{44250}[ EXCLAIMING ] What?
{44251}{44330}Food! I love food more than|anything in the world.
{44331}{44406}So they will not attack me,|they will attack...
{44406}{44478}Devils!|They are going to get me!
{44478}{44539}My plum... My plum pudding!
{44565}{44610}[ SIRENS WAILING ]
{44742}{44784}{Y:i}[ POLICE RADIO CHATTERING ]
{44785}{44833}MAN: Sergeant,|get this gun over here.
{44834}{44890}[ MEN CHATTERING ]
{44930}{44957}[ CLANGING ]
{44958}{45043}Wait. Wait for me.|Wait. I... I have to...
{45130}{45186}{Y:i}[ POLICE RADIO CHATTERING ]
{45230}{45265}What's all the excitement|about, eh?
{45266}{45295}Here, let me|help you, Inspector.
{45295}{45322}What are you doing?
{45323}{45368}I'm saving your lives,|you fools!
{45369}{45462}And you, get with your... with|your loved ones and family.
{45462}{45500}And... And all the rest of you,
{45501}{45550}clear out of this|neck of the woods!
{45647}{45678}[ CHATTERING ]
{45733}{45838}And don't... don't break anything|unless it's absolutely...
{45839}{45885}Get back! I told...
{45886}{45950}I don't know how many times.
{45950}{46029}And, I'm sorry, I say,|I... I don't want you in...
{46030}{46060}[ GLASS SHATTERING ]
{46061}{46141}in this vicinity.|And I... That's what I'm...
{46142}{46219}Aha! I have found the bomb!
{46387}{46422}It is still ticking.
{46590}{46627}I have drowned the bomb.
{46919}{46972}It is no longer ticking.
{46973}{47020}There's no bomb in there.|There must be.
{47021}{47089}When... When I held it up to my|ears, I distinctly heard ticking.
{47090}{47129}Well, I-it could|have been your wristwatch.
{47130}{47154}Ah!
{47221}{47256}It must not be waterproof.
{47257}{47306}BRAITHWAITE: It's just|not going to work, you know.
{47306}{47364}No, not any more, it's not. It's|good of you to concern yourself
{47365}{47396}but I can always|buy another watch.
{47397}{47430}I wasn't talking about that.
{47430}{47481}That is, if we...|If we last that long.
{47873}{47907}Come on, give it up. Shh!
{48090}{48150}Aha. Aha!
{48151}{48214}A deadly transistorized|mini-bomb!
{48214}{48251}Looks like one of those|cyanide capsules.
{48251}{48294}Yes, yes. A cyanide capsule.
{48295}{48349}Well, somebody certainly seems|determined to see you dead.
{48350}{48394}Yes, but who?
{48395}{48482}Well, I mean, it could be anyone at|that blasted Scottish hoopdeedoo.
{48483}{48545}Yes, but I didn't let this out|of my sight till I got here
{48546}{48571}to your club.
{48602}{48649}Weren't there any clues|on Frenchy Lebec
{48650}{48689}that we might be able to use?
{48690}{48738}These matches which I found|in his coat pocket.
{48739}{48774}Let me see those.
{48775}{48824}Bring that man in|for questioning.
{48825}{48861}You shot him last night.
{48862}{48917}Oh, yes. The Tudor Arms?
{48918}{48971}Inspector, perhaps we ought|to have a look at this place.
{48971}{49014}No sooner said than done.
{49346}{49382}Hello, can I help you?
{49405}{49442}Thank you for stopping.
{49443}{49497}Well, what seems|to be the trouble?
{49498}{49548}It's my new car.|I don't know what to do.
{49549}{49593}Do you know something|about machinery?
{49594}{49646}I don't know something|about machinery.
{49646}{49690}I know everything|about machinery.
{49690}{49744}Well, what do|you suppose this does?
{49745}{49782}Oh, yes. Well, you see,
{49783}{49834}when this is connected|in the right place,
{49835}{49886}it makes your auto-mobile move.
{49887}{49953}Now, it either goes one of two places.|Over here,
{49954}{49982}or over here.
{49982}{50009}[ GASPS ]
{50010}{50038}Well,
{50062}{50102}that takes care of that.
{50102}{50166}Did you fix it?|No, it's completely ruined.
{50166}{50209}Can I take you somewhere?
{50210}{50253}I suppose I ought|to make a phone call.
{50254}{50340}Now, the nearest place|would be The Tudor Arms.
{50341}{50390}Kismet. That's exactly|where I'm going,
{50390}{50414}Good.
{50506}{50573}And what brings my favourite niece|out in the dead of the night?
{50574}{50645}What do you think happened, Uncle?|My new car broke down.
{50646}{50706}Oh, what a pity.
{50707}{50774}Don't just stand there grinning.|Get us some food.
{50774}{50820}What would you like?
{50821}{50868}Oh, uh, just a light snack|for two.
{50869}{50962}Some smoked salmon, perhaps,|a little assorted pate,
{50962}{51008}a little roast beef, I think.
{51009}{51090}Then, a few vegetables,|uh, petit pois, carrots.
{51091}{51137}Then some glace,
{51138}{51218}a little chocolate cake perhaps, and...|I'll leave it all up to you.
{51218}{51265}Will you have it|here or upstairs?
{51266}{51310}Upstairs sounds cosier,|doesn't it?
{51310}{51338}Good.
{51806}{51843}Charming room, isn't it?
{51869}{51914}You have been here|many times before.
{51915}{51962}What gives you that idea?
{51963}{52018}The innkeeper,|you greeted him as Uncle.
{52018}{52058}Yes, he's married to my aunt.
{52159}{52202}It's all very suspicious.
{52289}{52329}I think perhaps I should
{52330}{52374}go downstairs|and have another look.
{52375}{52414}Oh, don't let me stop you.
{52682}{52750}Are you trying to keep a|policeman from his duty?
{52751}{52791}Don't you want to kiss me?
{52833}{52900}Whether or not I wish to kiss|you is beside the point.
{52901}{52946}The thing is, I'm here|on a secret mission
{52946}{52982}that very few people know about
{52983}{53048}and I am not going to be|dissuaded from my duty.
{53049}{53076}[ CLOUSEAU MOANING ]
{53077}{53130}Oh. Let me have a breather.
{53153}{53190}All right.
{53191}{53243}[ BREATHING HEAVILY ]
{53346}{53377}[ SIGHING LOUDLY ]
{53426}{53474}What do you think you're doing?
{53474}{53512}I never want to|forget this evening.
{53513}{53562}No, put that camera down.
{53563}{53614}We'll have none|of that, my dear.
{53614}{53698}You don't take a picture of me|in this dishevelled condition.
{53698}{53745}There, now you can|take a picture.
{53746}{53786}Oh, look at that big beauty.
{53787}{53821}Yeah. I love to have|my picture taken.
{53822}{53862}Right. I would be the|first one to admit that.
{53862}{53900}Hold it. You want the|same thing like that?
{53901}{53949}That's it. Lovely.|Profile. About face.
{53950}{53995}Yes. And now, a bit serious.
{54011}{54046}You want a half-smile.
{54047}{54097}A half-smile|from the other side.
{54098}{54128}Mmm-hmm.
{54129}{54202}Now, all-the-teeth-smile.|I'll give you one of that.
{54202}{54272}And now, I'll give you|an action photograph.
{54273}{54301}Mmm-hmm.
{54302}{54362}And of one caught in|the act of surprise.
{54362}{54397}Next pose. No, you missed that.
{54398}{54438}Take it once more. I've got it.
{54438}{54478}That's the kind I like. Next.
{54490}{54524}Lovely.
{54525}{54569}[ CAMERA CLICKING ]
{54633}{54665}That ought to do it. Yes.
{54666}{54701}Lovely. Very good. Now|listen, incidentally,
{54702}{54777}if you're making those up, I wouldn't|mind having a few of each myself.
{54778}{54809}I'd like to see|the proofs first and then
{54810}{54857}I'm... I'm sure I will|order some from you.
{54858}{54890}I've got an idea. Yes?
{54890}{54953}So far I've only got face|shots of you. Right.
{54954}{54992}How about full figure?|Fine, all right.
{54993}{55030}I'll be more than happy...
{55030}{55084}♪ Oh, it grabs you ♪|♪ by the heart ♪
{55085}{55162}♪ You never fall apart ♪|♪ in Paris ♪
{55163}{55205}♪ We argued for an hour ♪
{55206}{55253}♪ She jumped off ♪|♪ the Eiffel Tower ♪
{55254}{55309}♪ That wasn't very smart ♪
{55310}{55354}♪ Paris in the spring ♪
{55355}{55401}♪ The world is my... ♪
{55417}{55441}[ EXCLAIMS ]
{55457}{55502}[ MUMBLING ]
{55871}{55895}Hi.
{55986}{56066}Uh, I don't mean to intrude
{56067}{56114}but have you seen|anything of a girl?
{56129}{56178}Uh, not...
{56179}{56250}Not of course to imply that|that's not what you are.
{56250}{56293}I didn't mean to imply
{56294}{56410}that, uh... Indeed, not only|are you a girl but, uh,
{56411}{56477}yes, indeed, a very|extraordinary one at that.
{56495}{56523}Yes, uh...
{56550}{56610}I don't suppose that
{56610}{56694}you've seen anything of a tall|brunette in a short slip, have you?
{56706}{56730}No.
{56739}{56763}Ah.
{56938}{56966}Yes, well.
{56998}{57025}{Y:i}C'est la vie.
{57367}{57394}Beautiful.
{57394}{57426}You did a good job.
{57446}{57477}[ CRUNCHING ]
{57478}{57529}Oh, I love the way you eat.
{57561}{57594}Like a jungle animal.
{57595}{57620}[ CHUCKLES ]
{57621}{57645}[ WHOOPING ]
{57670}{57746}Oyster dressing|makes me passionate.
{57746}{57772}Mmm?
{57773}{57813}When I eat it?
{57814}{57874}Especially when you eat it.
{57875}{57970}If I didn't have this heartburn,|would you see something.
{57970}{58032}I've got something for|your heartburn. Yes?
{58033}{58062}Yes, a little something.
{58063}{58154}If you just lie there,|we will, uh, soon help you.
{58155}{58197}How's that? Ah, that's nice.
{58198}{58250}Is that better? Ah, very good.
{58250}{58286}Mmm? Better?
{58287}{58348}Flying over Ecuador with you.|That's better, is it?
{58349}{58385}On the back of a giant moth...
{58386}{58425}You're having a good trip,|are you?
{58426}{58462}Yes, it reminds me of
{58489}{58545}in the barbershop.|Ah, that's better.
{58546}{58587}They're doing it again.|You'll soon be well.
{58602}{58628}[ CLOUSEAU MUMBLING ]
{58629}{58658}How do you feel now?
{58659}{58683}CLOUSEAU: Help.
{58771}{58802}Take that.
{58950}{58975}Towel.
{59037}{59066}All right. Okay?
{59169}{59226}Now come on,|pat it well into the face.
{59298}{59330}INNKEEPER: Don't miss anything.
{59331}{59376}This stuff hardens very quickly.
{59377}{59406}[ TAPPING ]
{59590}{59618}That should do it.
{59619}{59655}Now, easy.
{59721}{59750}[ MOANING ]
{59782}{59826}It's loose.
{59827}{59886}[ MUMBLING ] It's loose.|The bull is loose,
{59887}{59910}[ GRUNTING ]
{59911}{59958}I don't need a picador,
{59959}{60006}I'll do it by myself.
{60006}{60082}I'm going to kill the bull|by myself.
{60083}{60146}Give me... Give me my sword
{60146}{60206}and I will become the...
{60207}{60281}Here it comes.|It's free. It's loose.
{60282}{60330}[ GIRLS CHEERING ]
{60330}{60366}You're magnificent.
{60366}{60417}Ole! Come on.
{60418}{60446}[ ALL CHATTERING ]
{60567}{60591}[ BED CRASHING ]
{60705}{60750}I can't believe it.|It's true, sir.
{60751}{60798}He claims it was all part|of his master plan.
{60799}{60858}Well, I'm sick|of his master plan.
{60858}{60922}And I suppose the collapsing|bed was part of our equipment.
{60922}{60977}Oh, oh, no, sir. He... He said|he brought that with him.
{60978}{61036}I don't want to hear|any more about this idiot.
{61037}{61102}I... I don't claim to hold with|the man's methods either, sir,
{61102}{61169}but you... you... you must|admit he does get results.
{61170}{61250}I prefer the sort of results that|culminate in suspects standing trial.
{61250}{61308}I think I may have the|answer to your problem, sir.
{61309}{61346}What, drop him from the case?
{61346}{61400}You know perfectly well we can't afford|to offend the French government.
{61401}{61470}No, I didn't mean that, sir.|Well, what did you mean?
{61470}{61538}Well, I think we ought|to have a man on the spot
{61539}{61582}speaking the language.
{61583}{61638}What language? French, sir.
{61639}{61670}Mmm? In France.
{61686}{61730}True, sir.
{61730}{61816}The remains of Frenchy Lebec are being sent|back to France. To Le Havre for burial.
{61817}{61857}{Y:i}BRAITHWAITE: Remains of who?
{61858}{61890}{Y:i}WEAVER: Frenchy Lebec,
{61890}{61942}{Y:i}the man Clouseau shot|at the Highland Fling.
{61942}{61974}{Y:i}Oh.
{61975}{62046}{Y:i}Lebec's gang's bound|to be at the funeral
{62047}{62122}{Y:i}and if Clouseau happened|to be there as well,
{62122}{62191}{Y:i}there's no knowing what information|he might turn up with.
{62238}{62286}[ PEOPLE SPEAKING FRENCH ]
{62463}{62490}Follow that hearse.
{62490}{62522}Follow it yourself.
{62590}{62618}Get out!
{62618}{62657}[ CLOUSEAU MUMBLING ]
{62770}{62820}How much... How much for|your... for your motorbike?
{62821}{62846}What? I'll buy it.
{62847}{62877}The bike. I'll buy it.
{62878}{62922}Oh, oui. I'll give|you this much.
{62923}{62968}Give it a good kick, huh?|Yes, yes.
{62969}{63025}That's what I'm...|I'm going to...
{63054}{63089}[ ENGINE SPUTTERING ]
{63231}{63262}[ HORN HONKING ]
{63263}{63293}[ MAN EXCLAIMING IN FRENCH ]
{63294}{63322}[ DOG BARKING ]
{63350}{63389}[ YELLING ]
{63451}{63486}Stop, thief!
{63487}{63542}Did you see that?|He stole my motorcycle.
{63543}{63598}Oh, nowadays,|you can't trust anybody.
{63598}{63624}Gendarmes!
{63625}{63649}[ YELLING IN FRENCH ]
{63795}{63825}[ BLOWING WHISTLE ]
{63891}{63942}♪ [ GIRLS SINGING IN FRENCH ] ♪
{64254}{64298}Special report|to Commissioner Braithwaite
{64299}{64338}from Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
{64339}{64416}Good morning. I am sitting in|a cart full of fresh fish.
{64417}{64461}I'm going to follow the hearse.
{64462}{64493}I'm leaving...
{64494}{64530}[ BLOWING WHISTLE ]
{64531}{64566}[ ARGUING IN FRENCH ]
{64567}{64602}To find the body...
{64627}{64661}To find the final resting place.
{64662}{64686}I'm going.
{64822}{64859}♪ [ BAND PLAYING ] ♪
{64982}{65022}[ SIREN WAILING ]
{65174}{65213}[ YELLING IN FRENCH ]
{65267}{65302}I can't think...
{65418}{65446}[ HORN HONKING ]
{65525}{65550}Eh! Idiot!
{65607}{65638}[ HENS CLUCKING ]
{65639}{65671}[ YELLING IN FRENCH ]
{65798}{65838}[ BELLS TOLLING ]
{65997}{66029}[ PRIEST CHATTERING IN FRENCH ]
{66086}{66134}Here I am in the graveyard
{66134}{66188}hiding behind a small shrub.
{66189}{66253}I am now moving into|an advance position
{66254}{66309}where I can|continue my reconnaissance.
{66310}{66380}This is Jacques Clouseau|signing off.
{66381}{66442}[ PRIEST SPEAKING FRENCH ]
{67205}{67237}[ THUDDING ]
{67238}{67265}{Y:i}[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
{67314}{67355}♪ [ CHILDREN SINGING IN FRENCH ] ♪
{67689}{67721}Oh!
{67722}{67769}[ BOTH GRUNTING ]
{67770}{67819}Get up. Get up. Get off.
{68010}{68038}My hat.
{68039}{68063}[ GRUNTS ] There.
{68073}{68097}Oh, no.
{68110}{68144}[ BOY MUTTERING ]
{68145}{68202}Stand there. Put your hands.
{68202}{68231}Yeah, like that.
{68274}{68298}[ GROANS ]
{68321}{68363}[ PRIEST CONTINUES TALKING ]
{68493}{68529}{Y:i}[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
{68530}{68567}♪ [ MARCHING BAND ♪|♪ PLAYING ON RECORDER ] ♪
{68651}{68691}{Y:i}[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
{68769}{68806}{Y:i}[ SIREN BLARING ]
{68922}{68959}[ ALL CLAMORING ]
{68986}{69021}{Y:i}[ RECORDER CHATTERING ]
{69129}{69162}{Y:i}[ GUN FIRING ON TAPE RECORDER ]
{69162}{69202}{Y:i}[ MOTORCYCLE ACCELERATING|ON TAPE RECORDER ]
{69290}{69321}{Y:i}[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
{69465}{69492}There he is!
{69493}{69534}That's the man|who stole my motorbike.
{69534}{69582}Come back! Come back here!
{69582}{69622}Hey, you! Come back!
{69623}{69653}Come back!
{69731}{69761}Hey!
{69762}{69817}LISA: Get into the car,|Jacques. Quick!
{69818}{69854}Hold on. Can you make it?
{69854}{69889}Get into the front seat.
{69890}{69941}Yes, I'm... I'm trying to.
{69942}{69993}♪ [ MARCHING BAND PLAYING ♪|♪ ON TAPE RECORDER ] ♪
{69994}{70031}[ YELLING ]
{70374}{70406}[ BELLS TOLLING ]
{70509}{70536}Some policewoman.
{70537}{70570}[ CHUCKLES ]
{70570}{70630}Listen, if you don't believe|that I'm a member of Interpol,
{70630}{70657}go in there and ask them.
{70658}{70721}You, a member of|the international police?
{70722}{70760}Don't make me laugh.
{70761}{70818}I... I arrest you|in the name of the Queen.
{70857}{70928}This crook is|Lieutenant Morell of Interpol.
{70929}{70966}Who the devil are you?
{70967}{71040}I am Inspector Jacques Clouseau
{71041}{71125}on detached service to Scotland|Yard from the Paris Surete.
{71126}{71217}And who are you to tell me|that this crook is no crook?
{71245}{71292}Don't raise your voice.
{71293}{71340}I am Prefect of Police Geffrion
{71341}{71376}and your superior.
{71377}{71401}Mmm...
{71442}{71480}Hmm.
{71481}{71569}Well, it seems, uh, that|I owe you an apology
{71570}{71634}and, uh, and you too,|Lieutenant.
{71635}{71672}Oh, it's quite all right.
{71673}{71727}And so, now that Scotland Yard and|Interpol have made their peace,
{71727}{71760}perhaps a hard-working prefect
{71761}{71805}can eat his meal in peace, huh?
{71961}{72006}Right. You've got everything?
{72007}{72038}Yes. Mmm-hmm.
{72039}{72088}Now, let's go over it again.
{72089}{72126}All right.
{72126}{72166}This is the headset.
{72166}{72210}Yes. You put it on and|you listen through it.
{72210}{72248}Yes, put it on.
{72249}{72334}This is the bow,|with the microphone lead.
{72335}{72360}Yes. See? There.
{72361}{72397}Oh, yes.
{72398}{72446}This is the arrow with|the microphone. Right.
{72447}{72496}Now you have|to plug that in there
{72497}{72588}and you should try and get the arrow|through that window up there.
{72589}{72631}That's where they all are.
{72734}{72775}[ CHATTERING ]
{73294}{73342}[ CHATTERING ]
{73733}{73797}with a queen. Pair of aces.
{73798}{73882}{Y:i}Tonight, we're gonna knock|over the Dodge City Bank.
{73882}{73952}{Y:i}RINGO: Dodge City Bank?|You must be kidding!
{73953}{73978}{Y:i}I got a plan.
{74006}{74082}{Y:i}In 15 minutes, Lefty and Big Red
{74082}{74150}{Y:i}walk into the hotel and start|shooting up the place.
{74150}{74176}10. Pair of 10s.
{74177}{74237}[ CHATTERING ]
{74238}{74281}{Y:i}MAN: I'm only worried|about one thing.
{74282}{74332}{Y:i}I don't trust that|Ringo or his partner.
{74333}{74397}{Y:i}BLACKIE: Don't worry about that now.|Listen to what I'm saying.
{74398}{74453}{Y:i}Meanwhile me|and one-eyed Charlie
{74454}{74492}{Y:i}slip into the back end|of the bank.
{74493}{74526}{Y:i}What about the half-breed?
{74527}{74561}{Y:i}Don't worry|about the half-breed.
{74562}{74604}{Y:i}LAZY: Yeah, don't worry|about the half-breed.
{74605}{74630}{Y:i}Right.
{74630}{74667}[ KNOCKING ON DOOR ]
{74697}{74740}Who's there?|CLYDE: Open up, please.
{74741}{74786}Not until you show me|your mother.
{74841}{74865}Okay.
{74954}{74990}Clouseau. STEELE: Have him!
{75033}{75068}[ CLOUSEAU GRUNTING ]
{75069}{75101}Please give me some air.
{75126}{75156}[ WHISTLING ]
{75157}{75184}{Y:i}Mon dieu!
{75185}{75210}What's this?
{75234}{75278}Hello, Steele.
{75279}{75328}It's the warden's son.
{75329}{75417}Man, you was a dead ringer|for Clouseau.
{75418}{75500}Yes, just goes to show what one can|do with five bobs worth of plastic,
{75501}{75574}a few photographs and the take|from The Great Train Robbery.
{75603}{75644}You're Johnny Rainbow.
{75645}{75676}BOMBER: Johnny Rainbow!
{75677}{75720}How's it, fellas?
{75721}{75793}{Y:i}RINGO: But when we blow the vault,|it's gonna wake up the whole town.
{75794}{75866}{Y:i}BLACKIE: We don't|blow the vault, stupid.
{75867}{75914}{Y:i}I've bribed the bank president.
{75943}{75974}{Y:i}Great thinking!
{75975}{76030}{Y:i}[ ALL LAUGHING ]
{76031}{76072}Bank robbery!
{76073}{76102}{Y:i}You all set now? Right.
{76103}{76130}{Y:i}Got the plan? Right.
{76131}{76169}{Y:i}Now you two get on the roof
{76170}{76222}{Y:i}and you drill the first law-man you|see coming across to the bank.
{76222}{76254}{Y:i}Right.
{76254}{76306}{Y:i}Hold it just a minute now.|Well, what is it?
{76307}{76378}{Y:i}Now, you all know...
{76379}{76450}{Y:i}Don't worry about|the half-breed, Ringo.
{76451}{76502}{Y:i}LAZY: Yeah, Ringo, don't|worry about the half-breed.
{76503}{76565}Switzerland is|the bank vault of the world,
{76566}{76618}and on Saturday afternoon,|we're going to rob
{76618}{76690}the biggest banks in 13 of the|biggest cities in the country.
{76719}{76751}And who gets blamed?
{76775}{76819}Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
{76866}{76941}How are you going to be at 13|different banks all at the same time?
{76942}{76965}[ CHUCKLES ]
{76978}{77018}I'm not. You are.
{77174}{77213}CLYDE: Be my guest, Steele.
{77442}{77474}Come on, that's great.
{77475}{77506}How do the eyes look?
{77506}{77548}Perfect, even from here.
{77549}{77600}It's gonna work, Clyde.
{77601}{77638}I do not like this joke.
{77662}{77708}Count me out. What do you mean?
{77709}{77742}Me, too. It's dodgy.
{77778}{77830}No hard feelings, huh?
{77831}{77890}No, as a matter of fact, I|need a couple of bright boys
{77890}{77941}to do another little job for me.
{77942}{77973}Clouseau.
{77974}{78014}To kill Clouseau|will be my pleasure.
{78015}{78049}But our ruin.
{78050}{78093}Now, look. Listen.|Once we've made the haul,
{78093}{78130}I want Clouseau running around
{78130}{78200}trying to explain his innocence|to all those eyewitnesses.
{78201}{78255}No, my friend,|do not kill Clouseau.
{78294}{78324}Kidnap him.
{78325}{78360}CLOUSEAU: And then|while you and your...
{78361}{78416}And your Cossacks|are holding me prisoner,
{78417}{78513}Ringo and One-Eye and the Half-breed|are... are robbing the bank.
{78514}{78586}And Lefty and what's-his-name|are... are... are... are
{78586}{78630}shooting up the hotel lobby.
{78631}{78681}And the one|with the squeaky voice,
{78682}{78750}the one with the squeaky|voice is up on the roof
{78751}{78818}waiting to shoot the first|law-man that rides into town.
{78818}{78857}Are you getting all this down?
{78858}{78900}I think so. Yes, get|it, push it down.
{78901}{78944}And... and the bank president|is in on it, too.
{78945}{78974}Only the bank president? Yes.
{78974}{78998}Not the Mayor? No.
{78998}{79033}Or Brigitte Bardot?
{79034}{79104}No. Not Brigitte Bardot.|Out! Out! Throw him out!
{79105}{79179}And wait! The...|Ringo the breed, the Half...
{79198}{79237}CLOUSEAU: Ow! Ow!
{79238}{79286}Police brutality!
{79350}{79389}Oh, Jacques.
{79389}{79436}If you'd been with me|at the police station,
{79437}{79473}maybe those fools|would have believed me.
{79474}{79540}Oh, I knew you'd want someone|to watch the bank.
{79541}{79598}They will not start|until the square is cleared.
{79598}{79669}I do hope we won't have to wait too long.|I'm so cold.
{79670}{79724}Yes. It is cold.
{79725}{79764}Come, let's go home.
{79765}{79816}[ CHUCKLING ]|Hey, what about the crooks?
{79817}{79877}The crooks never sleep|and neither does Clouseau.
{79878}{79902}[ CHUCKLING ]
{81115}{81142}[ CAT MEOWING ]
{81222}{81261}[ CAT MEOWS AGAIN ]
{81342}{81369}[ DOG BARKING ]
{81550}{81599}That will teach you|to sneak up on me.
{82454}{82485}[ TRASHCANS CRASHING ]
{82993}{83021}[ GRUNTING ]
{83022}{83051}[ GROANING ]
{83174}{83229}WEAVER: All right, Stockton,|come on.
{83229}{83275}Over to the wall. Go on.
{83297}{83325}Turn around.
{83341}{83374}Hands up high.
{83434}{83469}All right, turn around.
{83509}{83556}Drop your hands now.
{83557}{83589}Hey, what's up, Weaver?
{83629}{83666}[ STOCKTON GRUNTING ]
{84014}{84049}[ GUN FIRING ]
{84371}{84418}[ TRAIN HORN BLOWING ]
{84418}{84489}CLOUSEAU: I don't|want praise, uh...
{84490}{84541}At all times,|I always do my best.
{84542}{84582}Anyway, Commissioner Braithwaite
{84582}{84626}extends his|personal congratulations.
{84627}{84690}Yesterday for killing one|crook, I am reprimanded.
{84691}{84730}Today for killing two,|I'm complimented.
{84731}{84789}Tell Commissioner Braithwaite|to make up his mind.
{84790}{84824}On behalf of the Paris Surete,
{84825}{84886}allow me also to congratulate you.|It was marvellous.
{84902}{84938}[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
{84939}{85005}Now, Clouseau, you're sure|you've got the rail ticket? Yes.
{85005}{85050}And the rest of the papers,|et cetera,
{85051}{85097}we found on|the dead man last night?
{85098}{85125}Good.
{85126}{85165}{Y:i}[ MAN ON P.A. ANNOUNCING|IN FRENCH ]
{85202}{85246}Well, when you get to Zurich,
{85247}{85306}if you run into more|than you can handle, uh...
{85306}{85379}Up to now, I think I've done|pretty well on my own, don't you?
{85406}{85444}Yeah, see you. Yes.
{85445}{85470}Au revoir, Clouseau. Au revoir.
{85470}{85513}You are an ornament to France.
{85514}{85542}{Y:i}Merci.
{85542}{85577}[ WHISTLE BLOWING ]
{85578}{85650}Oh, don't forget the business|of Ringo and the Half-breed.
{85650}{85694}Clouseau, your train!|Your train!
{86050}{86082}[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
{86235}{86294}Do you play jacks?
{86294}{86357}David can't get|past his threesies.
{86357}{86409}WOMAN: Don't bother|the nice man, Nicole.
{86410}{86462}The nice man is not bothered.
{86463}{86505}[ BELL RINGING ]
{86506}{86537}I want to go to the toilet.
{86538}{86565}That's nice.
{86587}{86626}I want to go to the toilet.
{86674}{86709}Excuse me.
{86709}{86750}He wants to go to the toilet.
{86770}{86799}Come on, David.
{86878}{86913}[ GROANS ]
{86914}{86948}WOMAN: Next year,|I'm staying at home
{86949}{86994}and Daddy can|take you on holiday.
{87047}{87093}I can do ladies|in the washhouse.
{87094}{87124}Hmm.
{87125}{87187}Of course you'd have|to start out with babies.
{87494}{87528}Chicken in the basket.
{87529}{87596}Time for lunch, Nicole. But|I was showing Uncle Jacques
{87597}{87633}cherries in the basket.
{87634}{87659}Nicole.
{87713}{87810}Goodbye, Uncle Jacques. Ah, yes, goodbye.|Have a good time.
{87865}{87897}[ MUTTERING ]
{87930}{87954}Seven in the...
{87970}{88010}Feathers in the horse.
{88011}{88043}Duck in the soup.
{88098}{88178}Weaver, what are...|What are you doing here?
{88179}{88250}What am I doing here? Well, I thought|it was an opportunity of having
{88251}{88309}a little holiday|without my missus.
{88310}{88358}You've got a point there. Yeah.
{88359}{88426}As long as you're not here|to meddle in my case.
{88427}{88478}Oh, no, no,|wouldn't dream of it.
{88526}{88574}Would you care to|join me in an aperitif?
{88575}{88605}Surely, thank you.
{88630}{88658}[ BELL BUZZING ]
{88659}{88698}Um...
{88699}{88742}Training for|the Olympics, are we?
{88742}{88814}Oh, you think|this is child's play.
{88815}{88896}Well, isn't it?|In the hands of a child, yes.
{88897}{88969}But as a test of skill,|concentration and dexterity...
{88970}{89006}[ LAUGHING ]
{89006}{89069}Would you care for a small|game until the drinks arrive?
{89070}{89098}Surely.
{89098}{89177}That is unless you are|afraid to take on Clouseau.
{89202}{89252}I'm not afraid, Monsieur.
{89253}{89310}In fact,|I'm looking forward to it.
{89362}{89390}[ CLATTERING ]
{89427}{89469}Onesies. Onesies. One.|Yes, I've got it.
{89469}{89497}I have it right here.
{89498}{89522}Right.
{89554}{89596}Twosies.|You didn't pick anything up.
{89597}{89626}I did.
{89626}{89677}You had that lot in your fingers.|No, twosies.
{89678}{89717}I don't write them|unless you pick up.
{89718}{89772}Twosies. All right, twosies.
{89773}{89817}Threesies, threesies. Threesies.
{89818}{89869}[ HORN BLOWING ]
{89889}{89941}[ LAUGHING ]
{89942}{89973}A miss.
{89974}{90027}All right. All right. All right.|A veritable miss. Miss.
{90027}{90064}All right. Yes.
{90065}{90121}Here we go with this one now.
{90122}{90198}That's it.|No, you can't move the jacks.
{90199}{90265}The train hit a bump. I tell you|and when the train hits a bump...
{90266}{90333}You're breaking all the rules. It's my|jacks and I'll do what I want to do.
{90333}{90373}They're not your jacks. Yes.
{90374}{90409}Yes, all right.|That's it, that's it.
{90409}{90466}Leave them as they are. Now throw the ball.|Yes, all right.
{90467}{90522}Throw their ball. Onesies.|Onesies, onesies.
{90523}{90557}[ STUTTERING ] Twosies.
{90557}{90584}No! I have it, twosies.
{90585}{90617}You rang, sir?
{90618}{90677}Get away from me when the|jacks are hot. Get out!
{90677}{90721}Don't bother a man. Come on.
{90721}{90762}[ TRAIN HORN HONKING ] Threesies.
{90806}{90842}[ GUN FIRING ]
{90981}{91033}[ CLOUSEAU GROANING ]
{91033}{91077}Here's the ball. Your turn.
{91121}{91164}You quit while you're ahead?
{91165}{91228}Come back and finish the game.
{91229}{91281}Weaver,|come back and finish this.
{91313}{91349}Finish the game.
{91350}{91385}L-Listen.
{91386}{91468}We'll finish the jacks and then|we'll have a wrestling match.
{91469}{91493}[ GRUNTING ]
{91561}{91599}Not the door. No.
{91630}{91697}All right, I'll take off|20 points from my score.
{91729}{91797}No, please! Please!
{91798}{91826}[ HORN BLARING ]
{92274}{92306}[ MUTTERING ]
{92457}{92498}NICOLE: I didn't like that man.
{92499}{92546}He won't bother us any-more.
{92547}{92579}Read us a story.
{92823}{92858}"Edward Bear,"
{92859}{92937}"known to his friends as Winnie|the Pooh or Pooh for short,"
{92938}{92987}{Y:i}"was walking|through the forest one day."
{93026}{93078}{Y:i}[ MAN ON P.A. CHATTERING ]
{93079}{93125}Inspector Clouseau? Yes.
{93201}{93269}Ah, permit me to|introduce myself.
{93270}{93346}Director of National Security.|Hoeffler, isn't it?
{93347}{93385}The Minister of Finance|has assembled
{93386}{93424}the bank presidents|as you requested.
{93425}{93449}Good. Come.
{93490}{93533}The car is waiting outside.
{93534}{93590}Just a minute, Jacques. You|must be very careful. You see.
{93591}{93649}I saw Weaver on the train and|I think he's one of the gang.
{93650}{93686}Thank you. I'll see you|at the Tellerhof, huh?
{93686}{93724}Yeah.
{93725}{93773}[ TRAIN WHISTLE BLOWING ]
{93774}{93814}One minute. Of course.
{93926}{93954}Get that girl.
{94205}{94245}This car is at your disposal.
{94246}{94298}The driver has his instructions.
{94299}{94333}[ BELL DINGING ]
{94473}{94533}How did it go? Everything|according to plan.
{94533}{94602}Good. We'll stop|and switch clothes on the way.
{94781}{94815}[ CLOCK CHIMING ]
{95049}{95078}[ CAR DOOR CLOSING ]
{95181}{95224}Change and get back|as quickly as you can.
{95225}{95261}Yeah. Right away. See you.
{95365}{95407}BERGESCH: And finally Zurich.
{95463}{95525}It is for these reasons,|gentlemen,
{95526}{95590}that I have called you all,
{95591}{95704}you bank presidents of Switzerland|here to Zurich today.
{95705}{95790}I, as the responsible|Minister of Finance,
{95791}{95882}have declared this to be|a national emergency.
{95883}{95964}And I have|pledged on your behalf,
{95965}{96037}your fullest,|your fullest cooperation
{96069}{96105}to Inspector Clouseau.
{96154}{96179}Inspector.
{96217}{96274}Mr. Minister,|honoured bank presidents.
{96313}{96361}After months of|meticulous police work,
{96361}{96413}we have managed to|piece together a picture of
{96414}{96474}what we think|the crooks will do.
{96475}{96534}The robbery will|take place tomorrow.
{96535}{96561}ALL: Tomorrow?
{96562}{96608}JAVAERT: Saturdays|the banks close early.
{96609}{96669}Precisely. Inspector Clouseau.
{96670}{96733}Yes?|If you are so well-informed,
{96734}{96813}how's it possible that you don't|know which bank they plan to rob?
{96814}{96853}Well, you see, from time to time
{96854}{96909}the gang has had all your|banks under surveillance.
{96909}{96941}Oh, I see.
{96942}{97006}Now, I want you to take|a very good look at my face.
{97098}{97174}When the time comes, I shall fly|by helicopter to the unlucky bank
{97175}{97257}and personally supervise|the transference of all funds.
{97258}{97317}I have with me today Inspector|Weaver of Scotland Yard
{97318}{97352}who has a few more|remarks to make.
{97353}{97382}Inspector Weaver.
{97415}{97521}Gentlemen, under|no circumstances whatsoever
{97522}{97594}are you to follow any instructions|from an intermediary.
{97626}{97684}Neither must you accept or honor
{97685}{97780}any apparent radio|or telephone message
{97781}{97844}from either|Inspector Clouseau or myself.
{97845}{97921}Only that way can you be sure|that your money is safe.
{97921}{97983}In the hands of|Inspector Jacques Clouseau.
{98046}{98103}There,|now may I speak to London?
{98151}{98225}But that's...|That's all the change I have.
{98225}{98281}I've been trying to make|this c-call for an hour.
{98281}{98314}Wait, wait.
{98315}{98357}My mother has just come by.
{98357}{98397}Mother, have you got any money?
{98398}{98457}Yes. Very good,|thank you very much.
{98458}{98526}Oh, luckily she had|some change with her,
{98527}{98605}a miraculous occurrence|that she didn't tell me about.
{98627}{98701}Oh, and here comes|my Uncle George.
{98702}{98802}Uncle George seems also to have a|little bit of change with him.
{98803}{98881}And here it comes into the|telephone at this very moment.
{98881}{98916}[ GRUNTING ]
{98917}{99033}And here comes my sister with|another 20 centimes and 20 more.
{99033}{99077}Thank you very much,|dear relatives.
{99078}{99110}Now, uh...
{99111}{99152}[ EXCLAIMS ]
{99153}{99217}70 centimes more|but I have no more buttons.
{99217}{99299}I mean, can't you trust me,|a policeman of good standing?
{99341}{99445}Wait, I'll... I'll see if I can find|someone in this humble village
{99445}{99528}that will trust a man with an honest face.|Don't go away.
{99529}{99622}No. Wait, I made a mistake, don't|hang up the tel-telephone.
{99641}{99685}[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
{99725}{99759}[ CHILDREN CHATTERING ]
{99789}{99818}Looks like rain.
{99841}{99867}[ BELL TOLLING ]
{99897}{99929}Listen, have you...
{99957}{100011}Hey, can... can I borrow? Can...
{100291}{100375}Ah! No, I need...|I need 70 centimes.
{100402}{100433}No, I'm not one of the poor.
{100433}{100501}I have to make a telephone call.
{100501}{100573}[ STUTTERING ]|I have to make a phone call.
{100573}{100618}I'm not a thief or any... Here.
{100619}{100694}I... I have a wristwatch, a watch.
{100695}{100788}I will... I will... I'll give|you my... my... my automatic,
{100789}{100871}slightly waterproof watch. I'll|give you trade for the money.
{100889}{100970}[ SPEAKS GERMAN ]
{100971}{101033}Yes. Yes, that's...|That's what I always say.
{101034}{101058}[ CLANGING ]
{101141}{101200}No, you don't!
{101201}{101257}Some scoundrel put his, uh,|buttons in the telephone.
{101258}{101282}It's kaput.
{101345}{101394}We've got two minutes|to get this truck moving.
{101395}{101453}Now, Steele, me old darling,|how's all this going, all right?
{101454}{101517}It's finished, do you want to see it?|Yes, certainly.
{101611}{101686}Oh, that's great. Marvelous.|Keep that up.
{101687}{101746}Well, come on you guys.|Get this thing moving.
{101877}{101909}I'll be back|in about 20 minutes.
{101909}{101954}Make sure that|every-thing's ready.
{102161}{102225}Be ready. Bank President Wulf was|warned that this might happen.
{102225}{102289}Yes, yes, but when a man is|having his first grandchild...
{102289}{102344}I order you to transfer|everything from the vault
{102345}{102386}to the armoured car|waiting outside.
{102387}{102426}I shall take|full responsibility.
{102427}{102457}Of course, Inspector Clouseau,
{102457}{102513}now that it is no longer|my responsibility.
{104287}{104317}I'm sorry, sir,|the bank is closed.
{104317}{104382}I have an... I have an emergency.|I can't allow you.
{104383}{104446}Listen, I must cash|a check for three francs.
{104447}{104481}I have to make a telephone call.
{104482}{104514}We have no money.
{104515}{104568}[ STUTTERING ] What do you|mean you have no money?
{104569}{104612}I told you, we have no money.
{104613}{104661}The Bank of Zurich has no money?
{104662}{104718}W-W-Where is...|Where is the concierge?
{104719}{104814}Hey, listen, concierge,|I have an important...
{104815}{104847}Inspector Clouseau!
{104870}{104902}You know who I am?
{104903}{104981}Yes, but you... you... you|just left with the money.
{104982}{105042}No, no, no. This fellow here|won't give me any money.
{105043}{105093}Yes, but surely, I mean...
{105094}{105153}It's a boy! It's a boy.
{105154}{105189}[ CHUCKLING ]
{105189}{105257}It's a boy. It's a...
{105258}{105334}Inspector Clouseau!|Oh, no, no, no, not my bank.
{105335}{105408}It's amazing. How is it everyone|in Zurich knows who I am?
{105409}{105464}The Inspector took|full responsibility
{105465}{105526}so all our money has been|loaded into the truck.
{105527}{105585}That's perfectly all right.|It's part of the plan.
{105585}{105629}Plan? What... What plan?|Your plan.
{105654}{105693}No, my plan is to cash a check
{105693}{105757}and make|a telephone call to London.
{105758}{105793}There's something|terribly wrong.
{105793}{105850}Well, I'm glad someone|finally agrees with me.
{105851}{105921}Guard! W-W-What do you mean,|"Cash a check"?
{105921}{105954}Take him, take him!
{105955}{106025}No. It's... It's only five francs.|No need to make a fuss.
{106249}{106304}Come on, fellas,|let's get this thing moving.
{106305}{106366}CLYDE: Come on,|get these doors open.
{106367}{106412}Quickly, come on. Right.
{106413}{106445}Heave!
{106445}{106495}Come along, we haven't got all day.|Push it!
{106517}{106553}Come on.
{106553}{106589}[ GRUNTING ]
{106634}{106659}Okay.
{109706}{109757}What are you doing here?
{109758}{109825}I let you in. You're supposed|to be watching the main gate.
{109826}{109894}You heard what Johnny Rain...|Inspector Clouseau said.
{110013}{110057}He almost gave|the whole thing away.
{110058}{110145}Now, for heaven's sake, man, bolt that|door and let nobody else come in.
{110213}{110245}How's it going?
{110245}{110329}Hold my slide rule|and I'll find out for you.
{110330}{110381}It should be all ready|in about an hour and 10.
{110382}{110422}Good, keep the thing going.
{110423}{110453}Come on, quick, man,|get this over there.
{110453}{110494}Watch you don't strain yourself.
{110495}{110529}Come on, Steele.
{110529}{110612}Okay. CLYDE: Over there on top|of that crate there, will you?
{110613}{110657}[ WHIRRING ]
{110717}{110750}[ SHIP'S HORN BLOWING ]
{110889}{110941}Okay, swing it down.
{110942}{110997}Hold to your left.|Okay, now let her go.
{110998}{111062}Down. Come on, go in slow.
{111063}{111109}Come on. Don't waste time...
{111109}{111146}Well, by now, Steele, old chap,
{111147}{111242}they're searching airports and|railroads for our fast getaway.
{111243}{111284}The last thing the police|will be looking for
{111285}{111345}is a slow moving barge|loaded with candy.
{111345}{111396}Yeah, couldn't have|done better myself.
{111397}{111457}Now, look, I have to be|in the city in 10 minutes.
{111458}{111516}Hey, wait a minute.|Wait a minute.
{111517}{111609}If we've got to take a ride on this|floating time bomb, what about him?
{111610}{111684}The Superintendent Weaver is the|only member of our little group
{111685}{111740}with a legitimate reason|for being in Switzerland.
{111741}{111800}While you people are taking a|pleasure-cruise down the Rhine,
{111801}{111866}good old Weaver's gonna be stuck|at headquarters, isn't he?
{111867}{111895}So that if anything goes wrong,
{111895}{111933}you'll get warned, won't you?
{111933}{111992}Yes, well, you know that|we're on 102 megacycles,
{111993}{112022}so you will keep|in contact with us.
{112022}{112054}You gonna take me or not?
{112055}{112091}Yeah, come on.|We'll meet again in Cologne.
{112091}{112121}Cologne.
{112122}{112161}[ SEAGULLS CAWING ]
{112161}{112238}[ SHIP'S HORN BLOWING ]
{112239}{112340}NEWSPAPER MAN: News, Express.|Robbery sensation.
{112341}{112433}Famous French Inspector arrested.|Read all about it.
{112483}{112538}[ WHISTLE BLOWING ] News, Express.
{112539}{112594}You're only the watchman|at the Lindt factory.
{112595}{112666}Mmm-hmm.|How did you get the money?
{112667}{112729}Well, I... I... Perhaps we|can refresh your memory.
{112730}{112761}Bring in Clouseau.
{112789}{112837}Be so kind as to|empty your pockets.
{112837}{112881}But I already have. On the desk!
{113191}{113226}Ah, thank you, Beckman.
{113259}{113298}Do you recognize this man?
{113319}{113381}Yes, I do. Can I go now?
{113382}{113433}You're a teller of tales,|my friend,
{113434}{113481}and also you are a liar!
{113481}{113553}If there's one thing I|despise, it is a cop gone bad.
{113554}{113601}Have a care|who you're calling a cop.
{113601}{113637}I happen to be a full inspector.
{113638}{113665}Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
{113666}{113693}{Y:i}J'accuse!
{113693}{113772}This man threw me|from the 917 Zurich Express,
{113773}{113853}stole my money, and... and I accuse|him of... of cheating at jacks.
{113854}{113884}This fellow's ill.|Look after him.
{113885}{113940}Here, that's mine.|I... That's a dangerous...
{113941}{113981}{Y:i}Sayonara.
{113981}{114042}[ MUMBLING ] Here, that's mine.|You've had yours.
{114043}{114093}That man's a crook.|Stop that man.
{114093}{114124}Beckman! That man's a crook.
{114125}{114173}He's had his share,|this is mine.
{114173}{114229}Beckman, I called you. I|said to stop him, you fool.
{114229}{114253}Man? I saw no man.
{114254}{114285}[ ALL CLAMORING ]
{114285}{114311}I saw nobody.
{114553}{114577}[ EXCLAIMS ]
{114577}{114618}Take his feet.|We'll get rid of the body.
{114619}{114652}There are two of you.
{114653}{114693}Come on, let's hurry it up.
{114778}{114866}My face! You've stolen my face.
{114867}{114918}Give me back my face, you fiend.
{115079}{115113}[ GLASS SHATTERING ]
{115209}{115281}[ MUFFLED ]|Oh, my head. Help me! Help!
{115293}{115323}Oh, my!
{115357}{115381}Thank you.
{115414}{115449}[ MUFFLED SCREAMING ]
{115501}{115527}Hit him back.
{115761}{115837}And that... And that's just|the beginning, my friend.
{115837}{115889}I've just...|I've just begun to fight.
{115918}{115974}If I had a silver bullet,|then you'd see.
{116085}{116114}Are you all right? Yes.
{116115}{116162}Can I help you?
{116163}{116195}What an experience!
{116225}{116259}Ah, it lives!
{116291}{116334}Get him. Get him.
{116335}{116404}This person.|Get him, get him from behind.
{116405}{116445}He'll break my neck.
{116474}{116530}Hit... hit this... this...
{116531}{116571}I can't stand that the pain.
{116913}{116937}He's dead.
{116950}{116974}Who was he?
{117133}{117173}[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]
{117273}{117302}[ HORN BLOWING ]
{117329}{117362}♪ [ MUSIC PLAYING ON RADIO ] ♪
{117781}{117809}[ SEAGULLS CAWING ]
{117866}{117909}We are here waiting at the|Lindt Chocolate Factory
{117909}{117953}to get a statement|from Inspector Clouseau
{117954}{117985}who's just been|released from custody
{117985}{118021}as a suspect|in this massive robbery.
{118021}{118080}Ah, here he comes. Ah, Inspector...|Latest reports tell us...
{118081}{118137}Hello... in charge of this|world wide investigation.
{118137}{118177}Inspector Clouseau. Yes?
{118177}{118213}Could you give us|a statement please?
{118213}{118281}Yes, chocolate makes|one very thirsty.
{118281}{118314}But, this is Telstar,
{118315}{118357}millions of people all over|the world are watching.
{118357}{118397}Yes, listen to this.
{118397}{118441}Millions of people|all over the world.
{118441}{118477}There has been a robbery.
{118478}{118526}The money has been spirited|out of Switzerland
{118527}{118601}wrapped as innocent|little Lindt chocolate bars.
{118601}{118632}It could be anywhere,
{118633}{118696}so if your chocolate bar|has money in it,
{118697}{118737}be sure and contact me|and I promise you
{118738}{118794}not only the gratitude|of the Swiss Government
{118795}{118881}but a free chocolate bar|as well. Thank you.
{118881}{118925}Give me that! That's my money.|Get away. Get away.
{118925}{118964}I saw this first.|I got my hands on it.
{118965}{119037}I had this suit made|in Hong Kong.
{119217}{119241}[ YELLS ]
{119814}{119877}{Y:i}MAN ON RADIO: We report the|autobahn from Cologne's sealed off.
{119877}{119920}{Y:i}That's our final report.|Over and out.
{119921}{119951}Roger and goodbye.
{120078}{120114}CLOUSEAU: Is that you?
{120161}{120216}Yeah, of course it's me.
{120217}{120293}I've been trying to contact you.|Where've you been?
{120293}{120349}You still wearing|that ridiculous face?
{120349}{120384}How dare you|talk to me like that,
{120385}{120449}you common prison barber, you.
{120450}{120502}Hey, wait a minute.|Don't touch... touch my face!
{120503}{120530}But you're dead, aren't you?
{120531}{120593}Yes, and you're under arrest.
{120593}{120660}What do you want, handcuffs? Yes,|that's what I'm... I'm looking for.
{120661}{120690}Well, maybe you left them|in the car.
{120691}{120738}No, they're not in there. I just...|Here are the keys,
{120738}{120773}you need the keys|to the handcuffs.
{120773}{120805}No, that's my car keys.
{120805}{120852}They're over there. They're|over there, get the keys.
{120853}{120902}You come with me. We're both...|People are getting annoyed.
{120902}{120946}We're both going down...|Take a look at that traffic.
{120947}{120977}Quiet! You get the keys,
{120977}{121006}I'll stay here.|You get the keys.
{121007}{121040}All right, don't...|Don't go away!
{121041}{121090}All right, I'll stay here.
{121091}{121158}Where are my keys?|What have you done?
{121159}{121188}Where are my keys?
{121189}{121225}[ CAR HONKING ]
{121226}{121302}Where are they?|They're not here.
{121369}{121429}[ BOTH EXCLAIMING ]
{122083}{122117}[ BELL RINGING ]
{122117}{122235}Don't... Don't push that. Don't do that.|Don't start the bridge.
{122405}{122462}[ CLOUSEAU SHOUTING ]
{123102}{123126}[ HONKING ]
{123906}{123952}Help!
{123953}{123985}[ YELLING ]
{124143}{124171}Ow! Ow!
{124213}{124261}[ HORN BLOWING ]
{124261}{124353}Help! SOS for|a drowning detective!
{124523}{124558}[ WOMAN SCREAMING ]
{124675}{124721}CLYDE: Hey, what you got there?
{124722}{124754}I've brought you|a little present.
{124754}{124785}Present?
{124786}{124817}MAN: Here, come on, haul him in.
{124817}{124889}CLOUSEAU: Don't, don't! Don't grab|me by my right arm like that.
{124889}{124920}Get up!
{124921}{124974}Oh, if I wasn't encased|in a balloon
{124975}{125030}you'd see some action|at this point.
{125050}{125121}Let... Let me go.
{125121}{125182}Inspector Clouseau,|welcome aboard.
{125183}{125257}Run for your life,|these are dangerous criminals.
{125258}{125322}We're all criminals, on this|boat, ain't we, Rainbow?
{125347}{125374}Johnny Rainbow.
{125398}{125441}You can't trust anybody any more.
{125442}{125504}Oh, Inspector Clouseau,|you can trust me.
{125505}{125538}And while we're at it,|I'd like to say
{125539}{125592}how very grateful we are to you.
{125593}{125677}For without your cooperation|and that exquisite face,
{125677}{125741}I couldn't have pulled off|this entire operation.
{125755}{125794}[ ALL LAUGHING ]
{125795}{125826}Bye-bye, Superman.
{125845}{125886}Take him away.
{125887}{125984}You'll soon... You'll soon be laughing on|the other side of my face, my friend.
{125985}{126021}Ow! Ow!
{126021}{126099}That hold was ruled illegal|at the Geneva Convention.
{126113}{126142}Ow! Ow.
{126241}{126310}Jacques, they got you too.
{126311}{126364}Are you all right?|You look awful.
{126365}{126420}What have they done to you?
{126421}{126509}Dragged me backwards|in the water without skis,
{126510}{126605}thrown me from a train,|given me drugs,
{126605}{126693}and worse than that, they|punctured my rubber underwear.
{126737}{126801}But still you're alive|and in one piece.
{126802}{126852}Now, let's figure some way|of getting out of here.
{126853}{126893}You figure it out.
{126893}{126945}What do you mean|I figure it out?
{126945}{126976}What are we going to do,|Jacques?
{126977}{127049}I mean that I don't know|what we're going to do.
{127049}{127108}But they're going to kill us.|How can you talk like that?
{127109}{127179}I can talk like that|because I face facts.
{127237}{127274}I ruin everything I touch.
{127309}{127372}Hey, what's the matter with you?
{127373}{127483}Arrested twice. I destroy a phone|booth at the railway station,
{127519}{127568}I steal from a nun.
{127569}{127666}I don't know my own face. A man comes|up to me with my own face tied on.
{127667}{127707}I don't recognize who it is.
{127737}{127788}I don't...|I don't deserve to have
{127789}{127843}this autographed picture|of Sean Connery.
{127863}{127913}You accept defeat so easily.
{127913}{127996}So easily? This defeat has taken|every ounce of my strength.
{127997}{128049}No, every thing's going|to turn out all right.
{128049}{128101}It's not.|They're going to kill me.
{128102}{128149}They're going to kill me,|I tell you.
{128195}{128254}Thanks. I needed that.
{128255}{128301}Now maybe you can face reality.
{128302}{128365}Look, you got Weaver. The worst|traitor Scotland Yard's ever had.
{128365}{128394}That's true.
{128395}{128450}You killed three members of the|gang single-handed and you...
{128451}{128506}I don't mean to interrupt you,|it was five, you know.
{128507}{128545}And you helped|to find the money.
{128545}{128622}Helped? What do you mean, "helped"?|I did it all by myself.
{128623}{128681}Who do you think got the money back?|It was me.
{128681}{128724}We're going to bust|our way out of this tub.
{128725}{128750}[ CLANGING ]
{128751}{128777}[ GROANING ]
{128778}{128815}That was not the door.
{128851}{128881}[ HORN BLOWING ]
{129102}{129141}Okay, you two, let's go.
{129517}{129545}[ ZAPPING ]
{129659}{129686}[ BURSTING ]
{130041}{130108}CLYDE: Now, this is your|last chance, Inspector.
{130109}{130189}Now, do you work for us or do|we have to get rid of you?
{130189}{130260}I don't want your money.|I have my health,
{130261}{130330}I have my hair, I have an|apartment with an icebox.
{130331}{130361}And the love of a good woman.
{130362}{130393}Terribly moving.
{130393}{130460}I wonder whether|we can help them out somehow.
{130461}{130501}Lash them to the tarpaulin.
{130501}{130568}I'll leave you with this...|Ow! Oh, the deck...
{130569}{130605}I leave you with these words...
{130605}{130675}Oh, wait, I'm...|I'm going to leave...
{130777}{130833}Frey, what time do we rendezvous|with the Star of Tangiers?
{130833}{130876}Oh, well, owing to this|fog, my calculations...
{130877}{130916}I don't care about|your calculations, Frey,
{130917}{130972}ask the gentleman up there|how we're doing.
{130973}{131008}What are we going to do|with these two idiots?
{131009}{131038}Oh, do stop worrying, Steele.
{131039}{131120}By the time they find them,|we'll be miles away, I hope.
{131121}{131193}Hey, Fred, what time are we|going to make the rendezvous?
{131193}{131246}I don't know. We're having trouble.|We're losing way.
{131247}{131306}CLYDE: What did he say? There's|something wrong. We're losing way.
{131307}{131344}Losing way? How can...|Look, we're sinking!
{131345}{131425}We're sinking! For heaven's|sake, abandon ship everybody.
{131425}{131453}We're sinking!
{131483}{131553}Don't just stand there.|Keep those crates moving, men!
{131641}{131679}[ ALL CLAMORING ]
{131781}{131811}Out of my way.
{132451}{132480}They've gone!
{132481}{132569}Typical,|rats leaving a sinking ship.
{132569}{132641}I suggest we... we swim to shore.
{132642}{132680}In which direction?
{132681}{132727}Well, it's a river.|In any direction.
{132759}{132800}Well, maybe|I ought to scream for help.
{132801}{132850}Yes, that's a good idea.
{132851}{132890}[ SHIP HORN BLOWING ] Help!
{132891}{132972}I don't...|I don't think they heard you.
{132973}{133077}To track them this far and then to|lose them. It really is too much.
{133077}{133109}Would you like a cigarette?
{133110}{133152}Yes.
{133153}{133222}I'll get one. It's... It's|a menthol cigarette.
{133223}{133253}I... I hope you don't mind.
{133253}{133301}Menthol? Oh, no!
{133301}{133341}You don't like menthol? No.
{133342}{133425}I find it has|a much cooler smoke.
{133426}{133454}Oh, okay.
{133498}{133530}{Y:i}[ AMBULANCE SIREN WAILING|ON TAPE RECORDER ]
{133530}{133555}What's that?
{133607}{133658}There's an ambulance|drawing alongside.
{133701}{133745}{Y:i}[ TAPE RECORDER REWINDING ]
{133853}{133898}♪ [ MARCHING BAND PLAYING ] ♪
{134014}{134057}[ AIRPLANE WHIRRING ]
{134209}{134237}Goodbye, my darling.
{134237}{134266}Goodbye. See you next week.
{134267}{134314}Yes, a week of loneliness,|my dear,
{134315}{134389}but I will have everything|ready for you when you come.
{134390}{134425}And you will call me tonight?
{134425}{134481}Yes, as soon as I get|off the plane, my dear.
{134525}{134585}I don't want to rush you,|but I think perhaps you...
{134586}{134640}Well, Braithwaite,|you old son of a gun!
{134641}{134697}The time has come for us to say|goodbye, eh? Yes, indeed, it has.
{134697}{134754}And I want to say that it's|been a wonderful, wonderful...
{134755}{134784}Right, exactly.
{134785}{134813}In every regard.
{134814}{134865}Naturally and so shall I.
{134865}{134928}And if ever again|you should happen to be...
{134929}{135018}And I certainly will. And please don't|hesitate to make use of my name
{135019}{135073}and, uh, please call me|if ever you need me.
{135073}{135101}Oh, no, no, no...|No, no, no, no.
{135101}{135138}Please, I insist.|No, really, I wouldn't...
{135138}{135170}I wouldn't... I'll be|more than happy to come
{135171}{135204}I wouldn't do it.|At my own expense.
{135205}{135229}Indeed. Yes.
{135230}{135281}Well, cheerio then. Yeah.
{135281}{135305}[ GROANS ]
{135349}{135380}Goodbye, Jacques.
{135381}{135433}Well, goodbye.
{135433}{135500}Goodbye. You can expect|to hear from me shortly.
{135501}{135549}Yes.
{135550}{135661}Well, don't, uh, don't take|any wooden francs, yes.
{135939}{135967}Inspector? Yes?
{136025}{136053}Mrs. Weaver!
{136054}{136129}The Widow Weaver|thanks to you, Inspector.
{136157}{136212}No, no, Miss. Listen,|don't do anything
{136213}{136266}that you'll be sorry for...
{136267}{136355}For our first night alone together|in that naughty Paris of yours.
{136401}{136449}[ CLOUSEAU SHOUTING ]